Argh, today I feel fat. Yes, fat. No, not bloated, fat! I feel like I’ve picked up a gigantic amount of weight again after working so hard to shed a couple of kilos. And I was starting to fit very nicely into my pre pregnancy clothes. I’m now starting to feel that said items of clothing are starting to get a little tight. Alarm goes off and its time to work at it all over again!
The reason I am annoyed is that it just seems the older one gets the harder it is to shed just a few kilos. And to be honest I can sometimes be lazy. I know exercise is the way to go, but frankly I could not be bothered with it. I find taking a slimming tea here and there with healthy balanced meals works just as well. Yes, I know that that is probably not the way to go, but you know what? Chances of me EVER setting foot in a gym are completely slim to none! And besides, I hate sweating. No, I mean truly hate it. Summer months are like my poison. The mere thought of being sweaty makes me cringe. I hate being hot and sweaty. That’s also the reason I love the cold. No sweat!
I have mentioned the issue of weight before in a previous post as well as that of looks. I’m back to being in THAT frame of mind again. And I was doing so well! When I am in this particular frame of mind, my self esteem or self worth or whatever you want to call it, goes skydiving out the window. It has left me. I’m not sure when it will return. Maybe tomorrow? The next day? Or maybe even a week later? I truly don’t know, this time, how long this will last for. I also find that my personality changes slightly. I smile less, I joke less, and I just do everything…less.
At the moment I don’t even want to make the concerted effort of trying to think positive. It will take too much energy. And today, energy is something I lack. So maybe I will make an effort tomorrow. A genuine effort. I’m just too tired today.
So to sum up, I’m fat, I’m looking horrible and I’m tired. Hmm, hope the weekend goes ok.