I Just Need To Survive

Today is Monday. Four days to go until Good Friday and a wonderful long weekend. You see we are actually going away for the long weekend which I am rather excited about. What I am not excited about is the stress before we go. Its another issue of mine. I reckon I’m full of them!

Since the twins were born going anywhere further than my folks or my in-laws place causes me great stress. The packing process is pure torture for me. I am completely paranoid about forgetting something. Up until we arrive at our destination point, I am still paranoid that I have forgotten something. This paranoia leads me to creating lists and sub lists etc. etc. The lists almost seem endless.

We always choose a self catering destination if we go away on a bit of a holiday. It is much easier to deal with and you are not restricted to do things at certain times. And because we are usually late for almost EVERYTHING since the twins were born, self catering is just up our ally.

My brain for Fridays’ travel to our destination has already started working. I need to remind L to make sure the kids bag/suitcase is cleaned. She already knows to make sure their washing is sorted. Crap, we had rainy weather this weekend so could totally not do our laundry! When am I going to fit that in? Will put that on the “Urgent” list.
Then its sorting out the kids food stuffs, I will dub that “kitchen list”. Then its their packing of clothes, pram, N’s camp cot, A usually ends up in our bed, so we will just be taking N’s which will be a space saver. Toys? Their DVD’s? Yes, yes, will have to make another list for all that. Sub categories and all.

I haven’t even gotten to our stuff yet. Must get the bags/suitcases down. Make sure to charge the rechargeable batteries, remember charger, remember camera. Another list for that. I always pack for all weather occasions, which in essence means I tend to over pack. And because the kids cant pack for themselves, I tend to do the same for them. I never want to be caught unawares. NEVER. I hate not being in control of a situation that I could’ve been in control of had I just used my brain.

Need to reaffirm and agree what time we will be leaving the house. I also hate rushing around the last minute because that is when one tends to forget things (see the pattern here? Maybe I should get help for this paranoia issue?) and I want to be prepared for the trip and not stress. Meanwhile I probably would have been stressing most of the week in any case.

My dilemma as of now is that I have started working which means less time at home which means less time to plan correctly and this causes me some anxiety and mild frustration and aggravation. I would still stress if I was at home, but I am now close to palpitations at the thought of not getting everything sorted in the time we have before our trip. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally grateful for my new job, I’m just not accustomed as yet to working and planning the packing etc. when not at home.

I wish I could be more like A1. He is a shining example of what calm under pressure is like. While I would be near stroke status he would be like a cool breeze sorting his side of things out. He always says that its never worth the stress and that if something is forgotten a plan can always be made. I again, am of the opinion that with a correct packing procedure, errors should not be made and nothing should be forgotten. I think my dear hubby thinks I am mad. Bless him for not having run away years ago.

I am mentally still planning as I’m typing this and my brain is starting to hurt. And its still early morning. Hmmm, time for some coffee. I just need to get though the next four days and I’ll be ok. Maybe I should make a list….


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