A Little More Patience

I used to have an endless amount of patience. I used to be calm and serene and it would take a lot to really tick me off.

In the 2 years and 8 months since becoming a mom I have completely lost that. I mean completely. There’s not even a bit hanging by a thread. That broke a long time ago.

I now lose it for almost anything. This is solely because of the kids. I know it sounds bad to blame them, but its the honest truth. I’m laying it out here for everyone to read. Its because of them I have no patience left and that it has filtered into not having patience with the outside world.

I have become “that” customer. You know the one. The one who has a total flap when the slightest bit of service is not satisfactory. I hate myself for it sometimes, as sometimes it is worthy of just letting it go but I cannot control it.

I have spent the majority of the day being a bad parent. Yelling at the kids for their fighting, climbing and touching on things. I should’ve been able to handle this better. Should’ve being the operative word. I couldn’t. I lost all sense of composure.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to recover that “me” that could handle a situation without the dragon lady (aka bitch) making an appearance. I am totally irrational and will inevitably be in a crap mood the rest of the day.

I reckon only time will tell whether there is hope for me or not.

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6 thoughts on “A Little More Patience

  1. My husband was like that this weekend. He said it was because he was “sick” and couldnt deal with J.

    It happens, I think eventually, we will reach that stage where we just throw up our hands and watch the inevitable happen…

    In my case, the inevitable would be Jensen falling off the couch and splitting his head open since he cant sit down on the couch – he only uses it as a trampoline…

    • My hubby can’t deal with the twins either. He doesn’t last long with being with them alone. Hence I can never just go out with the girls for an evening! He however gets to go to his gaming club almost every Sat evening. If I wanna just go out away from the kids I have to arrange with my mom to babysit and by out I mean just to go grocery shopping!
      I feel like just running away sometimes!

  2. I have been there.

    I still revisit that spot frequently, when low on sleep or if my children are in Extreme Button Pushing Mode.

    You need a break.

    Girls Night Out? Two hours out alone doing whatever you want to do?

    Escape to Canada for five days for first vacation EVER without children? (what I’m doing because the others weren’t just kicking it anymore).

    Make it clear to your husband you’ve snapped, and YOU NEED A BREAK. Explain it is necessary to your sanity, his happiness, your children’s lives, and pretty much the entire house.

    All jobs give vacation time for a reason. Except motherhood: the one with 24/7 duties.

    We deserve a break more than anyone.

    • Hi. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
      Thanks for the advice. You’re right, I probably (and desperately) need a “time out”.
      If you read my response to Lauren, you’ll see how complicated it is at the moment.

      • Yeah well…. I’m a bit… demanding. And stubborn. And outspoken.

        I’m not for everyone.

        My personal opinion: he helped create the children, he is their father, he can damn well deal with them alone, even if he’s ready for the looney bin afterwards.

        To deny yourself a break, a rest, a time to recharge is to brew resentment that can simmer and lead to an explosion.

        Nope.. not talking from personal experience at all.

        Just sayin’. One night. And if the house is destroyed, it’s destroyed. And if he’s exhausted and tired then HELLO! Welcome to what your entire life is like every day.

      • You are, of course, so right.
        I need to make a plan, and make one as in yesterday already.
        Thanks!

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