Seriously? Seriously!

Oh my word! I really, really, really have some serious issues. I’m thinking it might actually be slightly sad and pathetic right about now.

I think by now I have made my aversion to mosquitoes quite clear. I don’t like them; I never have and never will.

Which brings me to the situation I found myself in a few minutes ago.

I head off to the bathroom at work (because I have had waaaay to much coffee in a short space of time!) and head into the stall. The tiny window is open. Why when it is freezing outside I do not know. Anyways, I walk in, lock the door, and there on the wall above the cistern sits a big ass mosquito. I freeze. I have just heard someone else walk in so the other stall (there are only two in this particular bathroom) is occupied. I remain motionless. Staring at the big ass mosquito and wondering how the hell I was going to pull this off.

I had one of two options:

I could attempt to swat it, but Murphy is always in the wings and I will inevitably miss and then pant and grunt as I attempt to re catch and swat it in a tiny bathroom stall. This of course will give the impression to the occupier of stall number two that the occupier of stall number one (aka me) has somewhat of a stomach issue and will want to find out if I am ok. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not cool with “chatting” to people from a bathroom stall. Whether it be at work or the mall (side note: I will attempt to the best of my ability to avoid a mall bathroom. But that is a whole other post altogether), I just don’t dig it.

Option two of course would be to leave said stall and come back later when occupier of stall two has left. But this would be really strange as nothing has been happening in stall one which occupier of stall two might find strange. Wait! I could fake flush the toilet to make it look like I was done and then come back later. Yes! That could work!

I must just mention that at least 4 minutes have passed and that it was nearly past the time that an average person would go to the toilet to do a “number 1”. I also have still been maintaining eye contact with said bug of death and destruction and have not budged an inch. I also realized I have kind of been holding my breath a bit. Which made me fall slightly backwards into the door, which caused somewhat of a loud banging echo!

F*&k!

Silence from stall number two.

THANK YOU!!

I was going to go with option two. It seemed viable. But then my bladder clearly had other ideas as in between having the coffee I have just been so busy I have not gone in a while. I should’ve by this point have gone like an hour or so back already.

So I decided with option 1.

I missed.

I said over a dozen curse words under my breath.

Luckily for me the bug of death and destruction merrily flew out the tiny window. To which I obviously shut it. By this time occupier of stall two had flushed and was nearly out the door. I merrily carried on with my business and hoped I would run in to no one in the passage.

I really need to get over the mosquito issue. But in all reality we all know I never will.

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4 thoughts on “Seriously? Seriously!

  1. Wow. This is the first blog post of yours I’ve read. And I’d never heard of anyone being THIS scared of mosquitoes in my life. Although can’t say I blame you. I have the same-intensity fear of cockroaches and balloons.
    All I can say is, don’t go to Africa if you’re this afraid of mosquitoes? 🙂

    Nice post. 🙂

    • Hi! Thanks for stopping by.
      Dont get me wrong. Am not scared of them. I loathe them. This is probably due to the fact that I am slightly alergic to the buggers. Instead of the small itchy dot I have a huge itchy bump. Picture a couple of bites and you’ll get the picture.
      Hate bugs in general really. 😉

      As for not going to Africa because of the mozzies? Well I actually live in South Africa, so kinda dont have much choice. 🙂 But I have my ways of destroying them so hopefully I shall win the battle one squashed bug at a time. 😉

  2. I am okay with mosquitos but ants really set me off. Luckily I live in a high-rise so bugs are minimal around here. But I know where you are coming from!

    • I miss living in an apartment block. There are really not that many bugs. I swear living in a house with a yard etc. brings all the critters out!

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