New Lease On Life…

I know the title sounds rather dramatic, but I swear that is the way it feels.
So much has happened since my last post that I am sure if I had to put it all down the post will go on for a long time. I will try and sum it up to the best of my ability.

I have always figured that something was not just right for years now already. But you know how life is, you kind of just cope and carry on. I realise now with the stressors I have had over the last years the signs were always there. Always. I have just somehow managed to cope all along. That is until my body decided to raise the alarm for me.
After months of speculating as to what my rapid weight loss could be about, including tension headaches and all kinds of other situations, I finally went for tests. Full on tests. I had avoided this forever.
It confirmed what I thought all along. Chemical imbalance leading to depressive disorder. Years. Years of denying the fact had got me to this point. Years. Besides a possible future thyroid issue, the main catalyst was the imbalance.
I now am on meds for a 6 month period after which I shall be evaluated again. I do feel it has made some difference. I see more clearly now. More clearly than I have in years. My head does not feel as cluttered. But I shall continue to monitor my own signs of improvement or none.

On the endometriosis front, well, its kind of a situation where there is little to no ovary function. Pre mature ovarian failure (I’m seriously not that old), I think those were the words used. I dont think this has affected me as much since I have my twin lovelies. Had I not though, it would have broken me. Making above situation 100 times worse. But am attempting some oestrogen treatment and we see how that goes.
On a side note: The comments recently by TV “doctor” Dr Drew has raised a storm amongst the endo community for calling the disease a “garbage bag diagnosis”. The shit storm surrounding Dr Drew has still not died down. Which is right by me. Endo is such a silent disease that there are millions of women suffering with this. Every awareness that has been raised about this disease has basically taken a knock by the “doctor’s” comments. Rest assured the shit storm is far from over.

One major change for the better is that I finally did find new employment. I actually start the 5th. I am super excited for the first time in a long time about work. This is the direction I am wanting to go and so many career opportunities that I can barely contain myself.
Those of you who have read my blog regularly will know the issues I have had surrounding the “hell hole”. Well folks, I am finally rid of that place. FINALLY. It is actually a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It came at the right time (mainly due to situation above) in that I feel it will speed up the process of not having to be on meds of the kind I am taking now.

I think that is about as short as I can keep it without mouthing off for pages and pages. I would at least like to have you visit again. 😉

Have any of you had an experience where denial has led to something drastic health wise? Let me know in the comments. Would love to discuss.

Until next time….

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Fresh Look…

Ok, so yes, I have been MIA for (gasp!) 3 months!
I am fully aware that this absence is just not on. Just. Not. On.
I thank those readers who have not just left me by the wayside like some blog orphan. I appreciate it so much.
So bare with me while I try and invigorate this blog that I simply cannot (and WILL NOT) leave.

Certain Facts

So work, as is the case, is slowly sapping my will to live.
To indicate to you how it has affected my health would make me sound like I needed a full on therapy session. So no, I wont bore you with the ins and outs of my mental and physical health. Just know, for all points and purposes, that I work in a hell hole. Ok? Ok!

The kids are growing so fast it is ridiculous. Go to my “about me” page and see the twin’s latest photo. Cannot believe how time has passed. I will do an full on pic blog post from the time when they were tiny tots, to now. If I can just manage to relax enough to do so. Wow.
N has lost her first tooth already and A is keen on loosing his. I had to sit him down and explain how it is NOT a good idea to just go yanking out teeth left, right and centre. Kids hear tooth fairy and their brains are: KA-CHING!!! *sigh* So basically it is this right now in my house…

KA-CHING!!

KA-CHING!!

New Look

Right, so as you will notice there is a new look to this blog site. I decided that change is as good as a holiday, and since I cant get a damn holiday I might as well refresh the look of my blog. Makes total sense.
I know in the past it has focussed a lot on the kids and gradually moving on to working mommy rants and such. But I feel it could be so much more.
So this, henceforth, will be a blog about anything and everything. A more well rounded blog, makes for a happy blog. Although this brings me to the question of what category of blog I will fall under. It used to either be “parenting” or “twin mommy” or “working mommmy”. Its now all three AND general. I might need your help on this one. Any suggestions??
Leave any ideas you have on anything in the comments. Would be great to hear what you think because right now…

Idea...

Idea…

So until then, laterz all….

A Little Bit Of Randomness…

I can’t seem to focus on one thing lately. It’s like so many things to think of and get done, that I’m just too tired to care. Make sense? Yeah, me neither.

My brain has become totally stagnant of late. I probably have a bunch of things that would sound perfectly blog worthy, but nothing that springs to mind in terms of a full blog post. Random little bits of shit that goes on in my head that couldn’t fill one blog post. So you know what? I’m putting all of it into one blog post. At least it is out of my head and I can clear some space for some kind of epiphany to hit. Scratch that. Any bit of space right now is probably more than welcome.

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I wish I really didn’t have to come to this hell hole I am currently working in. Granted I suppose every place has its issues. But issues regarding competency of staff and not enough staff to deal with the work load is bordering on ridiculous. It is also now the wrong time of year to start looking for a new job as people want to hold onto theirs to receive that all important 13th cheque so that they can survive the dry mid December to January month up until January pay day. This won’t happen for me as I am still on contract and clearly we don’t count. The post has been advertised and shortlisting has begun. We now wait and see. I’m not being positive on this one.

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It’s gradually becoming hotter. And I am gradually becoming more agitated. This being over and above my normal agitated, anxiety stricken, angered state.

It is a well-known fact (one that I think I have bitched often about) that Summer and myself are born enemies. The heat is just too much and once we really get that Summer heat coming our way, I don’t foresee it being a pleasant experience.

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My son is of the fact that he has superior knowledge to anyone else. For a 3 yo who will be four in November, he speaks like a 6/7 year old. He sometimes even sits with his foot crossed on his knee. It’s like he is this tiny old man. It’s borderline freakish sometimes.

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Remember that moment when I said that my daughter doesn’t speak much? I should have shut the hell up then and have been f*&^en thankful for it. She is now loud and obnoxious to a point where I feel the last threads of my humanity slipping away and turning me into the “Mommy Beast”. Maybe it’s not all that bad though. I reckon she just picks her moments of conversation (read: loudness) at the time when mommy is at her mental weakest. I swear she is psychic.

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I have this notion that I might have some slight depression going on. Or maybe I just have bouts of irrationality. Is the first step admitting it? Or is it just something that happens to gradually build up to a point where you think, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m looking into the solutions…