That Time Of Year Already?

As Christmas approaches and everyone gears up for the holidays, I take time to reflect on how bloody fast this year has gone.

I look at the progression of life as we gear towards a New Year and can only wonder if it will go a little less hectic and a lot more smoothly.

My kids:

The one thing that I do know is that they are really growing up to be little adults.

A has a vocab range of a 5 year old and sometimes I think he has a really old soul. He has full blown conversations with you that will blow your mind. It is really like you are talking to a child who has gone to school already. It is at times also rather freaky. We have taken extra care not to talk about certain things as he has the ability to retain info more than the average three year old. The only thing that brings me out of this line of thinking every now and then is that he has the ability (read: annoying ability) to whine and just sometimes be a complete 1 year old. Although I have just put it down to (for my own sanity actually) him being just over tired sometimes.

N is truly improving in her speech and now babbles non stop. It is a mixture of words and baby lingo at some ear bleeding high pitch. She is rarely quiet these days and has the ability (read: mind numbing) to throw tantrums to the likes which you have never seen. She is “fashion conscious” to a degree. For example: she will not wear long pj pants with a short pj top. It is either short or long. Done deal. Also if she doesn’t like the shoes you put on with her outfit it is outright war. Same goes for if she doesn’t want to put on a particular item of clothing.

Potty training is proving to be a challenge. Although A will put on underwear and maybe get it right every now and then the majority of the time he wets himself. Granted he is responsive to the potty idea and underwear. N on the other hand point blank refuses to go near a potty. Point blank refuses to put on underwear. It gets to a point that she throws a complete meltdown even when A has on underwear.

Side note: Which brings me back to her “fashion conscious” issue. She sometimes throws a fit when she doesn’t approve of what her brother is wearing. I have been trying to instill in her that A can wear whatever (read: whatever I put on for him) he wants. It has nothing to do with her. The battle continues with this however. I am convinced (read: my paranoid side) that my daughter has an OCD issue? I am not sure how you tell this with 3 year olds but I reckon I should investigate it maybe.

The battle rages on in an effort to get the twins out of nappies. It is proving to be a little harder than I imagined. I reckon A will progress well into the potty mode. He is receptive and sometimes asks for underpants. N is treating it like it is the portal to hell. Will not even look in its direction and if you show her panties she freaks like nothing you have ever seen. Will have to figure out how to work this out. Nappies are just bloody expensive damnit!

Work:

I was so excited to finally get back in to the working world after taking the time away (read: couldn’t find a suitable helper) to be with my kids. I have enjoyed that period of time and will always be thankful for it. I am not however that type of person. I need to work. It is engrained in me and when they were old enough (and we found someone suitable) I went back into the job market again.

What I failed (or maybe forgot) to realize at the time is the amount of absolute bullshit that goes on in the working world. Naturally since I am so “lucky” these days, I happened to find a job in the most F*cked up place in the whole entire world. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating, but seriously, the stuff that goes on here and the processes just kill me. I will be scouting around next year for possible other job opportunities.

Life:

It seems that 2011 has been the “let every damn appliance and vehicle f*ck out and leave you with nothing” type of year. It is ridiculous!

We have to date:

Replaced the TV

Replaced the Fridge

Replace the bottom element of the oven

Replaced the microwave

Sent the car in to fixed like a bajillion times (of which the latest happened only yesterday!)

Washing machine was doing some stupid crap but it seems to be ok now (just F off Murphy!)

A1’s laptop had to go in for repairs

Financially it TOTALLY sucks. I am not even sure what else to say on this topic because it just sucks.

And so…

Here I sit and patiently waiting until the 21^st December to go on leave for the Christmas holidays. I am exhausted and cannot wait. It has been a long tiring, trying and all around ok year.

I will probably post maybe over my break, but just in case I get lost in life again, here’s wishing all of you and your families a blessed festive season and a wonderful new year!

 

5 Things I Learnt In The Last Two Days…

1)      It is possible to walk into a certain environment and feel your soul being sucked right out of you.

2)      1 flea = tons of damage.

3)      Appliances love breaking when you don’t have money.

4)      Apparently you can watch TV and sleep simultaneously.

5)      Sometimes a thoughtful facial expression can melt your heart.

When The Realisation Hits…

I often think to myself that I shouldn’t become overly involved in things that are out of my control. And yet every single time, like clockwork, that’s what happens.

Why I continuously allow myself to get sucked into lies and empty promises I will never know. Actually, maybe I am just too tired of trying to speak up when no one listens.

Case in point as of late. One of my colleagues here at work has gone on maternity leave. Good for her. Sucky for me. First you must remember that I work at a University. Second there are very large faculty’s. Third, I work in the Human Resources Dept which is responsible for things like recruitment of staff, retirements, resignations etc. you get the picture.

Right. Anyways, she has gone on maternity leave and I have taken over her role until she comes back. She has two major faculties (science and health science) and other smaller areas. Now before she went I was only handling one faculty. That of Education. This was also me filling for another consultant who resigned.

Then came a whole “restructuring” and the consultants (of which I am not officially one and am still on contract) kept their current load but were taking on the add ons from the consultant who resigned. It was said to me that I would handle maternity girls’ job and Education would go to another consultant. Everyone agreed. And the consultants took on their newly acquired units, or departments or faculties.

Still with me? Good.

Fast forward to now, where I am holding down the fort with maternity girl’s work and of course lo and behold, the person who has taken over the Education Faculty, hasn’t stepped up to the plate.

No one, and I MEAN NO ONE (the boss) gives a damn. I have spoken to boss man at least 5 times now stating that if I carry on with that extra faculty, work is not going to be completed by shutdown! Does anyone listen? No.  I am now drowning.

But you know what? I woke up this morning and it dawned on me: Why am I the only one stressing? Why am I the one totally wracking my brain to utter exhaustion trying to sort out EVERYTHING? Why? I now actually DO NOT care. I am taking it one day at a time and what gets done, gets done and to the best of my ability. And what doesn’t, is not my problem. I have stated my concerns (to which I have witnesses) and nothing has been done.

My conscience is clear folks. And I shall be able to breathe for a bit.

 

Wordless Wednesday…..With Words (aka: WTF Wednesday)

Hi! My name is Yasmin and I swear (or at least in this messed up head of mine) I suffer from narcolepsy.

No. I am being serious.

We had a meeting/training session the other day and I fell asleep not once, not twice, but three times. I am hoping no one noticed. Well, no one has said anything so I reckon they either are embarrassed for my part or they are just letting it go. It wasn’t long moments of napping though. I mean like less than 60 seconds. But I reckon it was noticeable. I mean it was such a nip of a nap but the person talking faded completely. I am embarrassed to say the least.

Amazingly my colleagues were more focused at our fellow colleague across the table who was also having a nap. I guess sometimes it’s good to be irrelevant. I am sure the person conducting the meeting/training session had full view of me though, so I doubt that she didn’t notice it.

I have, as before and as always, mentioned that I am tired. This week and most of last week is of epic proportions. I’m just exhausted. As in totally exhausted. I have started to now just doze off at my desk too! I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is not like I am not busy. It is hectic here at the moment as end of academic year will be upon us before we know it. So its rock and roll all the way. But my exhaustion is probably going to kill me first. I swear on my life I have never been this drained before.

Added to the other issues as of late, and I am probably a walking mess at the moment. I cannot concentrate for more than half an hour at a stretch and will then need to do something like take a walk to appease my back (that’s another whole issue altogether btw). Then of course it’s the forgetfulness. Complete and unabashed forgetfulness. If I don’t wright it down on the one day, I will not remember it the next day. I constantly feel like I have had a HUGE meal, when in actual fact I haven’t eaten in a couple of hours (and no it is not constipation. I am actually perfectly fine in that department thanks.) . There are a number of other things (which concern me) which I care not to write about right now (I might at some point) that contribute to my head being a mess. 

But I shall take it in my stride. One day at a time. Actually I am lying. I mean one hour at a time, because that is all I have the ability to do right now.

 If anyone has any freaking idea what is happening to me (maybe I’m turning into a Zombie) feel free to email me:  alittlelessfluff@gmail.com

Maaaybe I Should Just Have My Head Read…

My brain must clearly be fragile.

It obviously needs a reboot or something because I can literally not be this crazy all the time. I could put it down to being tired. Or just that I have too much on my mind at the moment. Or that maybe, I just need to stop and breathe for a bit and take a moment for myself.

That way maybe I can focus enough to at least not do some of the following:

1)      I have been convinced since last night that it was Friday. And when I say convinced I mean so convinced that I wore jeans today. (Usually reserved for Fridays).

2)      Me, thinking it was Friday, went to a colleague’s locked office and waited outside for 10 minutes silently cursing him for being late for a meeting. Only to be told that he is only back tomorrow. AKA Friday.

3)      I made myself coffee this morning and had half. I was busy with it and then put it down to read an email on my phone. Why I just didn’t multi task and finish my coffee, I do not know. Needless to say I left a half a cup of coffee undrunk. Sacrilege, I know.

4)      I spent the better part of fifteen minutes fighting with, once again, a mosquito in the work bathroom stall and ended up walking out the bathroom only to realize I hadn’t gone to do what I needed to do.

5)      I made 10 copies (for document packs I need to make up at work) of a very thick CV. Twice. I clearly hadn’t noticed where I put the first pile and just proceeded to make another 10 utterly convinced I hadn’t made any copies of it at all yet.

6)      In my stupid state this morning I decided to wear heels to work. I must’ve been still half asleep. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why I even own heels anymore.

7)      I deleted a document from my PC that I actually needed instead of the one I wanted to delete. Needless to say I had to redraw up the doc I had just deleted.

It is now just on 13h00 and I’m still at work. I don’t know how much more can go South. And I have yet to get home to the kids.

In the famous words of Jackie Chan (ok, so maybe someone else just made the pic):

 

I Clearly Never Thought This Through…

Bribery always comes back to bite you on the ass.

Don’t believe me? Well this is how it goes in my household at the moment…

A while ago I was at my wits end trying to get A to eat his supper. I then (in a momentary lapse of judgment) said: “if you eat this I’ve got a surprise for you”. Yes folks, I had resorted to bribing my child. I was tired as hell and just didn’t have the mental capacity for the all-out battle that would ensue over supper. So I just went the easy root. (Insert minus points on the Mom of the Year Award tally).

You realize that A has the most amazing memory thing going for a two year old. He will remember things that happened two weeks ago, whereas I sometimes can’t remember something from two days ago! Anyways the situation is now that whenever A1 or myself say “Please won’t you just eat this, go to sleep, pick that up, stop hitting your sister etc. etc. etc.” he then just retorts “then surprise!”

Sometimes I just suck at this parenting game.

Technology Fail…Amongst Other Things.

I will NEVER get the hang of this whole technology thing!

Just when I think I have it all under control, I don’t. I seriously don’t.

 

So this weekend I go ahead and add a “contact me” on my blog. Hope you noticed!  😉

In any case I changed the email to the new email on my account etc. and that was that.

You see, I thought when I changed email addresses it would not affect the blogs I subscribed too with my other one. I, for a lack of a better word, was naïve. Turns out it doesn’t work that way. I discovered this morning that I should have in actual fact have gone into my settings of the blogs I subscribed too and tell WordPress to send me updates when new blog posts are up. Now I might have had a bit of a bright spark moment and thought that maybe this will only be for the blogs I subscribe too that are WordPress blogs. Right? Shit, I don’t know. Will have to wait until one of those wonderful people post something.

                                                       *

N is snoring again. Louder this time. I think her sinus issue is getting worse. The nasal spray the paed recommended (which was a spray in each nostril before bed) has worked wonderfully up until now.

I have no idea what’s happening. She sleeps at night with her mouth open just so she can breathe a bit better. She snores so loudly I can hear her from the lounge sometimes. And sometimes it sounds like she is drawing a “last breath”.  <<<<<< (Insert not sleeping to well and dreaming horrid things on my part here).            

This situation has led to her being all pms like (this is what I call it coz there is no better way for me to explain the mood she was in yesterday). One minute she was a happy little girl, the next she wanted to make her brother bleed, and the next she was all tears and just wanted to be in the arms (standing up, not sitting and being in the arms). This cycle carried on most of the day right up until bedtime.

Have been trying to phone the paed office since 08h30! WTF? Why am I getting  “our lines are currently busy please hold” message. I’d be mighty pissed if they were closed (as tomorrow is a Public Holiday) and just didn’t damn well put a message saying so!

                                                        * 

Last night I hurt my back. No, it’s not what you’re thinking you pervs 😉 , it’s the mere fact that my kids are becoming (what feels like) mini elephants. After N’s little pms moment yesterday, it was on one of those moments where I picked her up and my lower back said: “TO HEAR AND NO FURTHER!!”  I’m not gonna lie. It hurts like a bitch. I mean while walking putting pressure on my right foot sends endless amounts of agony from my lower back out toward my whole body. It hurts, pure and simple.

I thought if I just got a good night’s sleep it would be better and that I would be fine this morning. I’m not.

 This is going to be a looong day….

Update: I got hold of the paed office. Seems we should up the dosage of N’s nasal spray to twice a day for a week and see if it helps clear it. If not she needs to see the ENT. Its now a wait and see game.

A Little More Patience

I used to have an endless amount of patience. I used to be calm and serene and it would take a lot to really tick me off.

In the 2 years and 8 months since becoming a mom I have completely lost that. I mean completely. There’s not even a bit hanging by a thread. That broke a long time ago.

I now lose it for almost anything. This is solely because of the kids. I know it sounds bad to blame them, but its the honest truth. I’m laying it out here for everyone to read. Its because of them I have no patience left and that it has filtered into not having patience with the outside world.

I have become “that” customer. You know the one. The one who has a total flap when the slightest bit of service is not satisfactory. I hate myself for it sometimes, as sometimes it is worthy of just letting it go but I cannot control it.

I have spent the majority of the day being a bad parent. Yelling at the kids for their fighting, climbing and touching on things. I should’ve been able to handle this better. Should’ve being the operative word. I couldn’t. I lost all sense of composure.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to recover that “me” that could handle a situation without the dragon lady (aka bitch) making an appearance. I am totally irrational and will inevitably be in a crap mood the rest of the day.

I reckon only time will tell whether there is hope for me or not.

Fluff’s Top 5

Ok, I have made it to Friday in one piece! And now its time for….

 

Top 5 things I yell at my kids…

 

*     “WILL. YOU. TWO. STOP. FIGHTING!!!!”

        You have really no idea how often I say this.

 *     “WHY ARE YOU CHEWING YOUR BLANKET? LOOK HOW SOAKING WET IT IS NOW!!!”

       N absolutely adores to do this. I hate it. Germs, gah!

 *     “CAN YOU JUST BE QUIET FOR A SECOND????!!!”

       I am a bad mother and will not ever win the Mother Of The Year Award. EVER!

*      “WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?? I JUST PUT THEM ON! WHY ARE THEY OFF AGAIN??”

       This just drives me insane. I put them on and it literally takes a second for them to take it off! WTF?

 *     “ITS NOT FUNNY!!”

       This is said when I am trying to be stern with them, have reprimanded them etc. Do I just have one of those faces that is funny? I mean really now…

 

Why Life Will Never Be Normal…

I must be honest, I was meant to do a blog post on Friday. I was meant to do one on Saturday too. I was meant too….

 Yeah, funny how that word gets used often in my little world. I reckon the word “normal” should just be chucked out of my vocab completely. Nothing is ever normal.

 Anyways, this is pretty much my weekend round up.

 Friday was chaos as usual upon getting home. The kids (as usual. And I probably sound like a broken record already) were fighting with each other again. I just cannot take the screaming that results from their fighting. I could very well lose my mind by the end of the year. Furthermore not much else as when they eventually fell asleep it was a relaxing evening.

 Saturday was looking better. We dropped the kids off at my folks and went out for a blissful lunch. The winter sun was gorgeous as we sat on the deck of the restaurant and ordered our meal and just chatted in the peace that was sans children. I think everyone should do this once in a while. EVERYONE!

The absolute bliss that is just sitting and relaxing and having a meal with your significant other can do wonders for the soul.

But like all things that must go wrong in my life (coz Murphy is being an utter fecker again!) we went to collect the kids and hubby went off to his usual Saturday gaming club. The kids, for lack of a better word, were possessed again! They could not keep their paws off each other and were determined to kill one another. The screaming, crying etc. carried on until just before bedtime. I had to, at one stage, just walk away. For fear I might actually harm them this time around. I. Just. Walked. Away.

I was planning on doing a blog post and catching up on my emails. I, instead, went to be early with a b*tch of a migraine from the nights’ earlier “activities”.

 Sunday, was, well, Sunday. Attempt at relaxation? None. Kids on their best behavior? None. Slowly wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out again? Check.

 I’m strongly thinking of looking for a doctor of “something” to advise me on the fighting issue between my kids. I am beginning to think that this behavior is not normal. I understand that kids will fight etc. and it is a phase. But when they are doing that more often than not then I reckon it’s time for deeper investigation. The hard core truth is that I honestly don’t think they should be fighting every day. And I mean EVERY day! There is rarely a moment when they play with each other. And if one is off playing very nicely then the other will come and destroy that game and start trouble. I might have to just separate them! But when I put them apart they look for each other. Yet they can’t stand one another!

I honestly don’t know what to do….