That Time Of Year Already?

As Christmas approaches and everyone gears up for the holidays, I take time to reflect on how bloody fast this year has gone.

I look at the progression of life as we gear towards a New Year and can only wonder if it will go a little less hectic and a lot more smoothly.

My kids:

The one thing that I do know is that they are really growing up to be little adults.

A has a vocab range of a 5 year old and sometimes I think he has a really old soul. He has full blown conversations with you that will blow your mind. It is really like you are talking to a child who has gone to school already. It is at times also rather freaky. We have taken extra care not to talk about certain things as he has the ability to retain info more than the average three year old. The only thing that brings me out of this line of thinking every now and then is that he has the ability (read: annoying ability) to whine and just sometimes be a complete 1 year old. Although I have just put it down to (for my own sanity actually) him being just over tired sometimes.

N is truly improving in her speech and now babbles non stop. It is a mixture of words and baby lingo at some ear bleeding high pitch. She is rarely quiet these days and has the ability (read: mind numbing) to throw tantrums to the likes which you have never seen. She is “fashion conscious” to a degree. For example: she will not wear long pj pants with a short pj top. It is either short or long. Done deal. Also if she doesn’t like the shoes you put on with her outfit it is outright war. Same goes for if she doesn’t want to put on a particular item of clothing.

Potty training is proving to be a challenge. Although A will put on underwear and maybe get it right every now and then the majority of the time he wets himself. Granted he is responsive to the potty idea and underwear. N on the other hand point blank refuses to go near a potty. Point blank refuses to put on underwear. It gets to a point that she throws a complete meltdown even when A has on underwear.

Side note: Which brings me back to her “fashion conscious” issue. She sometimes throws a fit when she doesn’t approve of what her brother is wearing. I have been trying to instill in her that A can wear whatever (read: whatever I put on for him) he wants. It has nothing to do with her. The battle continues with this however. I am convinced (read: my paranoid side) that my daughter has an OCD issue? I am not sure how you tell this with 3 year olds but I reckon I should investigate it maybe.

The battle rages on in an effort to get the twins out of nappies. It is proving to be a little harder than I imagined. I reckon A will progress well into the potty mode. He is receptive and sometimes asks for underpants. N is treating it like it is the portal to hell. Will not even look in its direction and if you show her panties she freaks like nothing you have ever seen. Will have to figure out how to work this out. Nappies are just bloody expensive damnit!


I was so excited to finally get back in to the working world after taking the time away (read: couldn’t find a suitable helper) to be with my kids. I have enjoyed that period of time and will always be thankful for it. I am not however that type of person. I need to work. It is engrained in me and when they were old enough (and we found someone suitable) I went back into the job market again.

What I failed (or maybe forgot) to realize at the time is the amount of absolute bullshit that goes on in the working world. Naturally since I am so “lucky” these days, I happened to find a job in the most F*cked up place in the whole entire world. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating, but seriously, the stuff that goes on here and the processes just kill me. I will be scouting around next year for possible other job opportunities.


It seems that 2011 has been the “let every damn appliance and vehicle f*ck out and leave you with nothing” type of year. It is ridiculous!

We have to date:

Replaced the TV

Replaced the Fridge

Replace the bottom element of the oven

Replaced the microwave

Sent the car in to fixed like a bajillion times (of which the latest happened only yesterday!)

Washing machine was doing some stupid crap but it seems to be ok now (just F off Murphy!)

A1’s laptop had to go in for repairs

Financially it TOTALLY sucks. I am not even sure what else to say on this topic because it just sucks.

And so…

Here I sit and patiently waiting until the 21st December to go on leave for the Christmas holidays. I am exhausted and cannot wait. It has been a long tiring, trying and all around ok year.

I will probably post maybe over my break, but just in case I get lost in life again, here’s wishing all of you and your families a blessed festive season and a wonderful new year!


Murphy, Thou Art A Heatless One…

Ok, I am going to say it.

I. Hate. Appliances.

There. I said it. I feel better.

Appliances have the ability to screw us over at every turn. It’s like it is planned! It must be or I am going to go on an ass whipping expedition to locate Murphy. You have all (hopefully) read about the experience I had not so long ago about our TV tendering its “notice”. You will also have read about the mission it was to get a new TV. If not, read here and here

Folks, this is the way Murphy lulls you into that false sense of security. You know, that period where you eventually sigh in relief and think that that will be the last appliance hassle for at least this year? Yeah, about that…

Yesterday morning I was in the process of making breakfast when I head off to the fridge to get the milk for that all important first coffee of the morning. I open her up and wooosh!! It is fucking (excuse the language here) like an oven in there!! Yup, my fridge had decided, while we were blissfully sleeping to tender its “notice”.

In its “gracious” departure it had made sure to only let half everything that was occupying it go off. I was thankful. And pissed. Like fucking money grows on bloody trees!

And so today, we are off to purchase a new fridge. On account. Which essentially is more bills every month. For my sanity this expedition had better be hassle free or I swear the damage is going to be irreparable.

So,  how will you be spending your start to the weekend?

Seriously? Seriously!

Oh my word! I really, really, really have some serious issues. I’m thinking it might actually be slightly sad and pathetic right about now.

I think by now I have made my aversion to mosquitoes quite clear. I don’t like them; I never have and never will.

Which brings me to the situation I found myself in a few minutes ago.

I head off to the bathroom at work (because I have had waaaay to much coffee in a short space of time!) and head into the stall. The tiny window is open. Why when it is freezing outside I do not know. Anyways, I walk in, lock the door, and there on the wall above the cistern sits a big ass mosquito. I freeze. I have just heard someone else walk in so the other stall (there are only two in this particular bathroom) is occupied. I remain motionless. Staring at the big ass mosquito and wondering how the hell I was going to pull this off.

I had one of two options:

I could attempt to swat it, but Murphy is always in the wings and I will inevitably miss and then pant and grunt as I attempt to re catch and swat it in a tiny bathroom stall. This of course will give the impression to the occupier of stall number two that the occupier of stall number one (aka me) has somewhat of a stomach issue and will want to find out if I am ok. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not cool with “chatting” to people from a bathroom stall. Whether it be at work or the mall (side note: I will attempt to the best of my ability to avoid a mall bathroom. But that is a whole other post altogether), I just don’t dig it.

Option two of course would be to leave said stall and come back later when occupier of stall two has left. But this would be really strange as nothing has been happening in stall one which occupier of stall two might find strange. Wait! I could fake flush the toilet to make it look like I was done and then come back later. Yes! That could work!

I must just mention that at least 4 minutes have passed and that it was nearly past the time that an average person would go to the toilet to do a “number 1”. I also have still been maintaining eye contact with said bug of death and destruction and have not budged an inch. I also realized I have kind of been holding my breath a bit. Which made me fall slightly backwards into the door, which caused somewhat of a loud banging echo!


Silence from stall number two.


I was going to go with option two. It seemed viable. But then my bladder clearly had other ideas as in between having the coffee I have just been so busy I have not gone in a while. I should’ve by this point have gone like an hour or so back already.

So I decided with option 1.

I missed.

I said over a dozen curse words under my breath.

Luckily for me the bug of death and destruction merrily flew out the tiny window. To which I obviously shut it. By this time occupier of stall two had flushed and was nearly out the door. I merrily carried on with my business and hoped I would run in to no one in the passage.

I really need to get over the mosquito issue. But in all reality we all know I never will.

Why Life Will Never Be Normal…

I must be honest, I was meant to do a blog post on Friday. I was meant to do one on Saturday too. I was meant too….

 Yeah, funny how that word gets used often in my little world. I reckon the word “normal” should just be chucked out of my vocab completely. Nothing is ever normal.

 Anyways, this is pretty much my weekend round up.

 Friday was chaos as usual upon getting home. The kids (as usual. And I probably sound like a broken record already) were fighting with each other again. I just cannot take the screaming that results from their fighting. I could very well lose my mind by the end of the year. Furthermore not much else as when they eventually fell asleep it was a relaxing evening.

 Saturday was looking better. We dropped the kids off at my folks and went out for a blissful lunch. The winter sun was gorgeous as we sat on the deck of the restaurant and ordered our meal and just chatted in the peace that was sans children. I think everyone should do this once in a while. EVERYONE!

The absolute bliss that is just sitting and relaxing and having a meal with your significant other can do wonders for the soul.

But like all things that must go wrong in my life (coz Murphy is being an utter fecker again!) we went to collect the kids and hubby went off to his usual Saturday gaming club. The kids, for lack of a better word, were possessed again! They could not keep their paws off each other and were determined to kill one another. The screaming, crying etc. carried on until just before bedtime. I had to, at one stage, just walk away. For fear I might actually harm them this time around. I. Just. Walked. Away.

I was planning on doing a blog post and catching up on my emails. I, instead, went to be early with a b*tch of a migraine from the nights’ earlier “activities”.

 Sunday, was, well, Sunday. Attempt at relaxation? None. Kids on their best behavior? None. Slowly wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out again? Check.

 I’m strongly thinking of looking for a doctor of “something” to advise me on the fighting issue between my kids. I am beginning to think that this behavior is not normal. I understand that kids will fight etc. and it is a phase. But when they are doing that more often than not then I reckon it’s time for deeper investigation. The hard core truth is that I honestly don’t think they should be fighting every day. And I mean EVERY day! There is rarely a moment when they play with each other. And if one is off playing very nicely then the other will come and destroy that game and start trouble. I might have to just separate them! But when I put them apart they look for each other. Yet they can’t stand one another!

I honestly don’t know what to do….

Sunday Blues And…WTF?

So Sunday started out to be those days when you wish you didn’t get out of bed.

Promptly at 08h45 the power went out. It stayed out the whole damn day and came back on just before 6 in the evening. WTF? No warning notices were sent out by the municipality (like they should do if they are planning a power outage for that long), no communication what so ever! I was annoyed. Seems like since Friday I was destined to stay annoyed the whole weekend.

We are fortunate that we have a gas canister outside with a two plate thingy attached to it so we could at least boil water, make food etc. So everyone was ok. And the kids were sorted for food etc. But I had to feel sorry for those with little kids and no gas.

The other end of the scale was the fact that we had to entertain the kids for all that amount of time as there was no TV to periodically keep them entertained. We were completely knackered by the time the power came on. Like literally dead. We couldn’t really take them outside as it just so happened to be one of the coldest days we have had so far this winter. Great huh?

But we survived that ordeal fine enough. It’s what happened when I made a phone call yesterday morning and the subsequent dealings of today so far.

Ok, so here is the story.

Sunday morning I make the phone call to “well known furniture store that has THE WORST customer service I have ever come across”. The manager DID NOT call me the day before as was stated to me. So I call them back and tell them, again, that I want to cancel. The response is: “Oh the lady who deals with that is not in today but I will get your documentation ready and put in on her desk for her to attend to. Also you are going to have to come into the store to sign cancellation forms”. I try not to lose my temper for fear of another stroke inducing headache and agree that I will be there Monday (today) after work to come and sign.

I make a follow up call this morning to confirm that everything is ready for me to come and sign. They know nothing and put me through to “sales guy”. I have instantly gone from calm and serene to DEFCON 5. I let him have it and state that I will be in this afternoon to sign the cancellation paperwork. He agrees. I have simmered down again.

An hour later I get a call at work to ask for confirmation of employment. I have a suspicion and ask the person’s name. They give my name. I am back at DEFCON 5. I then for the 5th time since Saturday state that I am coming in to cancel this contract. The woman on the other end just says (in a rather rude tone) “Oh, why?” I say it is because I am disappointed in the service etc. etc. The woman on the other end then proceeds to just say “Ok, fine. Bye” and hangs up. I am furious, but manage to just go have a coffee and a smoke to settle me a bit. I come back and my landline rings again. It’s like they knew I left the office or something. The call is from “Sales Guy” to explain what happened with Sat blah, blah. He apparently didn’t know the warehouse did stock take on a Saturday and…I refused to listen further. I stated that I would not change my mind and I would be in this afternoon to cancel.

What happened next defies belief. “Sales Guy” goes ahead and calls A1 and explains the story to him and tries to convince him to change his mind! A1 stood fast and said we would be in later the afternoon to cancel. Once I found out that he had called him I was seeing red again. I mean really? REALLY?

I am going to try and calm down and finish my days’ work and will after go to said “well known furniture store that has THE WORST customer service I have ever come across” and calmly get this damn thing cancelled. I do however think I am sitting on the edge and one wrong move from those people will let me, no force me, to once again act like some irrational animalistic human being.

When Service Delivery Stinks

I don’t ask for much in this world (ok maybe sometimes I do, but that’s not the point I’m going to make here) but the one thing I would really like to receive, just once, it prompt service. I mean for heavens sake, I am paying taxes etc. so the least I could get is someone who can provide me with a service where I don’t end up acting like a complete bitch. Maybe it’s just that South Africa has a service delivery issue which has been going on for like forever and people just don’t care how customers are treated anymore. Is it really that bad? Really?
I reckon I should start at the beginning so I don’t sound completely nuts. I warn you, this is a long one. Grab a coffee or something and make yourself comfy.


Ok, so Thursday evening I get home to a power failure. Not just our house, but the whole neighborhood and half the town. Annoyed from a crap day already we proceeded to get candles out and sort out kids supper with the gas canister we have outside. It had already been off for close to two hours when I got home. Another hour and it popped on again. Relief! Not! It was on for two minutes and back off again. For like another hour! It eventually came on half an hour after the kids had finished with their supper.
I go towards the TV and notice or DSTV (Digital Satellite TV) decoder has a ‘be1’ on its display screen. It doesn’t work. Resetting it doesn’t work. Nothing bloody works. A1 then decides to check on the net to see if there is a remedy for this and he finds one. It’s supposed to work. It always works. Except for us. We tried 7 times. It did not work. Murphy, you bastard!


So we figure we are going to have to take it in. We do this Friday after work. They were “helpful”. When we told them of the problem all the service guy said was “oh shit”. You clearly know what this means right? He then proceeds to tell us what he is going to do. It happens to be the same thing we tried 7 times the night before. He gives us a look that says “yikes, you’re screwed”. We had to get a new one. LUCKILY it was not expensive in terms of replacing our damaged one. My blood pressure had already raised a level but I was still rational and calm.


We then decided that since we are in the vicinity and we are in desperate need of a new TV and wouldn’t be able to do it over the weekend that we would pop into three stores to scout if there was one that suited us (and would bloody last longer than the previous two we have gone through!).
We eventually settle on a well known furniture store as the price was reasonable and it looked really good. We were in there previously while scouting and the sales guy gave us his card. So naturally we go looking for him (to save time) to get this all settled. From here I must apologize as I will be using a couple of swear words. If you are sensitive to this, I advise you to stop reading.


So A1 asks that since they are on special are there any that are sealed in a box. Sales guy says “oh no sorry, we are out of stock in this store but we can organize it here and you are welcome to go and collect at one of our other branches”. I should have listened to the warning bells then already. I should’ve said “well, that’s it. We’re off”. But I didn’t. I didn’t listen to the slight pain above my eye as my blood pressure rose half a level. I just didn’t.
We then say there is no way we can go anywhere else now to go and collect, so he responds and says that they can arrange for delivery on a Saturday if that would suit us. My blood pressure dropped that half a level. We then say we want to pay on terms and he gets a look that says “ah right”. He responds by telling us that it would take a bit of time to fill out the necessary forms etc. I ask how long and he says no longer than about 10 minutes. I think that’s manageable and we go ahead.
We sit down and he gets the relevant documentation from us. He disappears to make the copies and this has already been 5 minutes. He comes back and I think “great we’re done”. We weren’t. He then whisks us off to one of the behind the counter service ladies and tells us to have a seat she will assist with the rest of the way. He then disappears again.
The lady behind the desk is facing her computer and peeling a naartjie (like an orange except smaller and softer and easier to eat than an orange). Sitting there, hasn’t said hello and is peeling and starts eating a fucking naartjie. Through chewing she mumbles something about the computer being slow and she will be with us in a second. It has now been over the supposed 10 minutes and my blood pressure has rocketed up 1 and a half levels.


We start the whole procedure. And I say procedure because it is a torturous one! Because of the new Credit Act that has been passed here you practically need to give your whole life story before you can get approval. And don’t think you can go and buy a surprise gift appliance or gadget for your spouse on credit because now your spouse has to be a co signer person on the documentation. Complete fuckover. Anyways, we carry on like this for the next 45 minutes!! By now my head is pounding, my stomach is churning like I am going to throw up right there and the pressure behind my eyes makes me want to gouge them out with a pencil. We sign enough forms that could have killed 50 trees and we are on our way.
But wait! As we stand another lady comes on the scene and says “Oh did they ask for a three month bank statement”. That is when I became completely fucking irrational. By now A1 would’ve had to stop me from climbing over the desk and bashing their heads in with the damn computer. She takes one look at me and says “oh not, but don’t worry that is our fault”. I respond and say as long as we get our TV tomorrow that is fine. She has a hesitant look and says that she will speak to manager and something will be arranged. I tell her that the sales guy needs to call me in the morning so I can speak to him (actually just rip him apart over the phone for his bullshitting from the second we walked in there). She said no problem she will pass on the message. I again should have listened to the alarms going off, but my head was pounding so bad I could barely here the alarms.


I walked out of there furious that we were misled about how long this would take (PS: sales guy had left to go home already) and I was sick and literally nauseated as my blood pressure was too high. I could’ve thrown up right there, but maintained some kind of decency. I recovered enough about two hours after we got home. I had calmed down and nausea and headache had subsided. Thankfully.


So this morning I see I had a missed call on my cell. A1 recognizes the number as being the store. I call back. The sales guy is busy with a customer and will call back. No problem. I get a call 10 minutes later from the lady who “assisted” us the day before and she then requests a three month bank statement. I saw red. I can’t even remember what I said to her but it wasn’t pretty. The one thing you must understand folks is that not once during our whole experience the day before was the issue of a bank statement mentioned. Except when we were done with the paperwork and then were told “not to worry it’s our fault”. I let her have it. I was told the TV would be delivered today and now you’re telling me no? Oh hell no. It does not work that way.


She promptly says she will find out when it will be delivered and call me back. Three hours goes by. I’m livid. I call back and find out the situation with the TV. She says it can only be next week. You know what I did then? I told her to cancel the contract. Cancel everything. I do not want your goods, I do not want your crap service and I do not want to deal with you ever again! Her response? “Oh ma’am, no. Let me get the manager to contact you”. I say to her that I am being serious and that even if the manager does call me I still want the contract cancelled. Ladies and gentleman, it is now 21h50 in the evening and I still have not received that call.


Tomorrow I go to war.

Bah Humbug!

Here’s the deal. I HATE being sick. Number one reason why? Unlike before kids, I now cannot get any rest. Which inevitably results in me feeling crap for longer.

I hate sniffing, blowing my nose and waiting for it to reach my chest which results in a cough that sounds like I’m coughing up a lung. Oh, the joy. I also hate the fact that I probably will (hopefully not this time) pass this to one or both of the kids. Sick toddlers are no fun!

I don’t know why I was under the impression that I was invincible. Maybe it’s because half of the people at work are sick and A1 recently too, and I hadn’t caught it yet. Murphy you are truly a bastard! Luckily I went last week and got enough meds for A1 which now I will be using.

So I’m sitting at work nicely drugged and not a care in the world. Haha. What I think I need is bed rest though. And of course I would get sick when it’s going to be a super busy week at work. So no sick days for me. Can you hear the pity party bells ringing??

I reckon I will continue with the “woe is me” scenario for a bit longer. It makes me feel slightly better.  I was also supposed to start my diet today. That, as you can well imagine, is COMPLETELY out the window until I’m better. I mean it’s not right to start a diet when you’re sick right? RIGHT??

Oh, and did I mention its MONDAY!???


I Hate It!

I hate it with a passion. It is necessary though in order for us to live, but I still hate it. And yes I relish the fact that it gets me out the house and away from the kids, but I still hate it!

Grocery shopping!

The mere thought of being in a grocery store with trolley and trying to navigate amongst the thin isles (why are they so damn narrow??) gets the claustrophobic in me all panicky!

I don’t even need to explain how my blood pressure rises when the item I’m looking for is not there and the shelf label says “out of stock”. That would mean I would have to go to ANOTHER grocery to find said missing item coz I need it! (With twins around our luxury list decreased in size monumentally!). Did I mention I hate grocery shopping?

Then of course are the queues! I haaate queues! Of any kind! Doesn’t matter where it is, I hate it! I, coz Murphy is out to get me yet again, ALWAYS seem to pick the slowest queue! Without fail! It sickens me.

Let me tell you about my loathing for queues. I once stood in one for what seemed like an eternity to get my ID book changed. I stood there so long I actually began to cry out frustration! Couldn’t have cared less who saw me, I wept like a baby.

But I digress, back to my grocery issue. Am I literally the only woman who feels this way? I cannot give you a rational explanation to the hatred, but its there and will probably remain so till I die!

If I survive doing it tomorrow I should get a noddy badge! 😉