Mommy? Why do you have scribbles?…

This was the question posed to me by my 5 (soon to be six) year old daughter upon silently gate crashing my bedroom (again) and finding me in just a tracksuit pants and bra. I was about to put on the t shirt. I’ve got to learn to lock the damn door. Also, kids can be very quiet when necessary.

Obviously, to make me feel better after probably seeing the abject shock and horror on my face, she decided to clarify. By pointing. And saying “there, on your tummy, why do you have scribbles?”

Kids are so observant. Don’t for a second think you can fool them.

Like when you’re trying to sneak in a bite of chocolate you’ve been stashing for a while. You know when you went to the hiding place it was quiet and it would be no trouble. Just when you take that bite.. “Mommy, what you eating?”. How the hell do they know?? The quiet should have been my clue. Don’t trust anything if its too quiet.
And yes, I stash treats for myself. I know for dead certain I am not the only parent that does this. Ok? Ok.

Anyway, so back to the matter at hand; the “scribbles” on my tummy. I, firstly, put on my tshirt, then sat her down on the bed and explained while they were in mommy’s tummy, her and her brother grew. As they grew mommy’s tummy stretched. Sometimes when skin stretches and then tries to go back to normal it leaves the marks. “We call it stretch marks” I finished. I was rather proud of myself at the wonderful explanation and fantastic bit of parenting I had accomplished. I deserved a treat for that. She was quiet.
Still feeling the gloating feeling of success my daughter laughed and said “silly scribbles” and proceeded to call her brother to tell him the story. Again, I should have noticed the quiet before getting all “you just won the parent to child info lottery”.

Kids – in the lead
Mommy – trying to get out of the hole

Xoxo
A Little Less Fluff

Fridays….

So once again we come to the end of the week. “insert a big hooray here”

I dont have any major plans for the weekend, besides a braai (bbq) on Saturday, but the way I go on about Fridays you think I had something lavish planned. The thing is Friday signals two whole days I dont have to be at work. Two whole days I dont have to come into the hell hole I am currently in. Two whole days of not having please every damn person who has an ego of self entitlement. Two whole days I can just chill (as much as what you can chill with 4 year old twins, but thats beside the point).

That is what gets me excited on a Friday. A Friday is my go slow day after a hectic (and its always hectic) week. Friday is my take it easy day. And damnit I reckon I deserve it after a whole week of putting up with other people’s crap.
So Fridays are pretty much like this:

hehe

Have a good weekend folks! 🙂

Of Lawnmowers and Management….

I know, I know, it is not Friday. But hey, I have the laptop and some net time and the kids are asleep. A1 is gaming so why not take a little time and type. I mean it is rare that I get the quiet time to do so.

It is currently 20h30 in the evening. It is dark. Our new neighbour, believe it or not, is mowing the lawn. Did I mention it is dark??? I’m like….

WTF????

Anyway, it is one of those hot nights where it is just too much effort to do anything. Inside the house is hot, and the kids sleep rather restless. And when they sleep restless, it means a trip from their beds in the middle of the night (when I’m too far down the road in dreamland to even wake up and take them back) to ours. Sneaky little things they are.
Coz although you might think it’s cute on a hot night, it is more along the lines of…

WHYYY???

On the work side of life I am currently busy with recruiting for a high level Executive post. It involves everybody. And I mean like EVERYBODY. Annoying really. Anyway, these self absorbed panel members are needing files made. Of all the applicants. There were 20. I need to make 15 files. Not cool. Apparently when you are in a Senior position you also apparently dont know how to work electronics, and have to have everything printed out for you. Lets hope I never make it to Senior Management anytime soon. I have mentioned so many times how much easier it would be if these things can be viewed electronically. But does anyone listen? Nooo…

Why huh? Why?

Thank goodness it is almost middle of the week. That much closer to Friday (I’m trying to be positive here ok? Don’t mess with my mojo ;P ). Although weekends are nothing short of spectacular (read: I dont really do much of anything on a weekend), I try to not think of the dreaded week ahead. Difficult when sometimes that is all that is on my mind. I need to bloody read a book or something. Or maybe learn to bake properly? Nah, scratch that, reading is more doable.

Oooook then…

PS: thanks 9GAG and MEMEfaces! You make me a happy bunny. 🙂

A Little Bit Of Randomness…

I can’t seem to focus on one thing lately. It’s like so many things to think of and get done, that I’m just too tired to care. Make sense? Yeah, me neither.

My brain has become totally stagnant of late. I probably have a bunch of things that would sound perfectly blog worthy, but nothing that springs to mind in terms of a full blog post. Random little bits of shit that goes on in my head that couldn’t fill one blog post. So you know what? I’m putting all of it into one blog post. At least it is out of my head and I can clear some space for some kind of epiphany to hit. Scratch that. Any bit of space right now is probably more than welcome.

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I wish I really didn’t have to come to this hell hole I am currently working in. Granted I suppose every place has its issues. But issues regarding competency of staff and not enough staff to deal with the work load is bordering on ridiculous. It is also now the wrong time of year to start looking for a new job as people want to hold onto theirs to receive that all important 13^th cheque so that they can survive the dry mid December to January month up until January pay day. This won’t happen for me as I am still on contract and clearly we don’t count. The post has been advertised and shortlisting has begun. We now wait and see. I’m not being positive on this one.

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It’s gradually becoming hotter. And I am gradually becoming more agitated. This being over and above my normal agitated, anxiety stricken, angered state.

It is a well-known fact (one that I think I have bitched often about) that Summer and myself are born enemies. The heat is just too much and once we really get that Summer heat coming our way, I don’t foresee it being a pleasant experience.

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My son is of the fact that he has superior knowledge to anyone else. For a 3 yo who will be four in November, he speaks like a 6/7 year old. He sometimes even sits with his foot crossed on his knee. It’s like he is this tiny old man. It’s borderline freakish sometimes.

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Remember that moment when I said that my daughter doesn’t speak much? I should have shut the hell up then and have been f*&^en thankful for it. She is now loud and obnoxious to a point where I feel the last threads of my humanity slipping away and turning me into the “Mommy Beast”. Maybe it’s not all that bad though. I reckon she just picks her moments of conversation (read: loudness) at the time when mommy is at her mental weakest. I swear she is psychic.

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I have this notion that I might have some slight depression going on. Or maybe I just have bouts of irrationality. Is the first step admitting it? Or is it just something that happens to gradually build up to a point where you think, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m looking into the solutions…

I Dont Even Have A Title For This Post…

You’re probably in shock. I know, I am too. Another post? So soon after the last one? Miracles do happen folks. Yes, indeed they do. That and of course the fact that I just can’t bear to look at the paperwork that is on my desk any longer. It’s making me dizzy. Seriously.

I forgot to mention in my last post that my beautiful N is now on the same level of potty training as her brother! And, she did this all in one week!! It’s now just the night time routine that I need to work on with both of them and then folks, WE ARE NAPPY FREE! 

Today is one of those days where I wish I could crawl under a rock and stay there. Of course, it being Monday does not help. I already wish it was weekend again… 

Speaking of weekend, you know, Friday morning I was fine getting up, even coming into work I was fine. But then, like getting smacked in the back of the head, this feeling of total and under depression/anxiety or whatever you want to call it just overcame me. It was all consuming and I just didn’t have the capacity to want to do anything. I took my anxiety/stress pills. It kind of settled me somewhat, but not completely.

It could also be that they are currently advertising the position I am currently on contract in. I am applying, but who knows if I will be successful. My contract comes to an end in December.

On the other hand, I have also come to the conclusion that working in an academic environment is really crap. Give me the Human Resources aspect of a manufacturing environment any day. It hands down beats the crap that these academics put one through. I think it is utterly ridiculous that a Professor cannot tell when he/she is supposed to retire. Do you not know how old you are? You think I jest, but no folks, the stupid things that are asked by “supposed” intellectuals just baffles my average mind. The mere fact that they are too lazy to look up something on a PC that they have access too is just plain ridiculous. For heaven’s sake, you get paid a shit load to teach and mold young minds. You’re trying to tell me you can find a simple policy on our staff portal? How stupid do you think I must be to NOT pick up the fact that you’re just being a lazy ass who doesn’t want to do the work? Just because you are a Professor does NOT and I repeat NOT entitle you to be a complete jerk.

This is going to be a long week…

Hey There…

So here I am once again. And no, I am not going to bitch and moan about how I haven’t been here or haven’t posted enough. It’s pathetic and I have no one but myself to blame. And for that, dear readers, I am sorry.

So where am I head space wise? Well, neither here nor there really. I am not as angry as before. But find my patience to be one on a very (and I repeat VERY) thin thread. I still regularly take the stress/anxiety pills to ease my shattered nerves. So far I have not committed any heinous crimes against humanity (read: colleagues or family).

I find that I get annoyed very easily as well. I used to be able to have a strong hold on how quickly I could become annoyed. It used to take a bit of work. Now, it’s just a matter of saying something stupid and I react. Needless to say this happens mainly at work, and I should really learn to curb the words that spew from my annoyed mouth.  I’m getting “looks” already. But currently my attitude of “you need me or else you are F*&%ed” is getting the better of me. I should just go for longer walks around the campus. However that is also difficult to do when you are in a meeting. *sigh*

I have but a ton of work to do, but you know what? I am taking this opportunity to blog. Coz damn it, I need a break. I need to just be able to let it all out there and say I am NOT a slave and will take a 5 minute break to clear my thoughts (currently mainly vicious ones). This also includes a cup of coffee!

Cheers till another time folks….

Points To Ponder…

1. Contrary to popular belief, I actually am still in the realm of blogging. I think I might have just faded into the background as reality is a bitch.
2. The human body can apparently withstand mind numbing exhaustion up to a certain point. You know, that point when you dont make sense while speaking and you sound like you’ve been drugged.
3. Three year olds think they know everything.
4. No matter how you swing it, you cannot cure incompetence.
5. After 30 times of asking, it is always the one time you dont ask that a kid needs to pee.
6. There will always be that one thing on your grocery list that you will not find/get.
7. Just because you are in a certain high level position does not give you the right to be a complete dick.
8. With reference to point 7: Just because you obtained said position by doing fuckall still does not give you the right to be a complete dick.
9. Just when you think you couldn’t sweat any more in the summer heat…
10. Sleep is only sleep if there isn’t a foot in your rib or a hand slapping your face.

 

That Bulge Story Again…

I was rushing down the passage at work on my way to another colleague’s office when for some reason I looked down. I stopped dead in my tracks. 

Since when did the skirt I was wearing sit above my ankles and not ON my ankles?? WTF??

That f*cking bulge of a stomach that used to be flat until the kids stretched it beyond proportion with their big ass bodies was causing trouble!

So instead of the skirt sitting on my hips it is sitting at an unflattering angle on my waist causing the bulge to look like I am pregnant (oh hell no!) again. And the length makes me look like I am dressed like someone 30 years older than the 30 years I am currently.

So. Not. Amused!

To illustrate my point:

 

When You Finally Do Sleep…

The shit hits the fan. Always.

I fell into bed last night exhausted beyond measure and slept. I didn’t even dream. Nothing. Just blank and slept. Needless to say I slept to the point of not hearing my alarm go off this morning for work. I slept right through it. A full solid hour right through it. 

A1 woke me up. I usually wake up and sort a light breakfast then wake him up. He woke me up to witch I shot up out of bed and headed to the bathroom (I hate waking up in a rush. It destroys my inner karma for the day). A1 sorted out the light breakfast. Love him.

Because of the alarm blaring away both kids were up and about. It is difficult for both of us to try and get ready in the mornings with twin 3 year olds. It just doesn’t work.

So getting out of the house this morning was a mission. My eyes still hurt and I still feel groggy. My motivation for work is sitting at 0% and my mood sucks. Added to this the blistering heat (mostly humid) and I want to claw the walls. 

But thankfully today seems to be quiet (holds thumbs that it stays that way) and I am also pretty much keeping to myself. Nobody has popped by unannounced to my office to bother with crap I am really not in the mood for. So all in all this day might actually improve.

Think I’ll go make me a cup of coffee. (yes I know it’s hot, but I managed to track down a fan and put it in my office! Yay me!)

They Surprise Me Everyday…

I will say one thing about having kids. They surprise you when you least expect it. Mine seem to do it quite often. And just when I think I couldnt be surprised by anything they do anymore, there is always something left in their little bags of tricks.

I am really happy for my little N. She is really starting to speak like a little person.

Ok, so there is still some incoherent babbling in between, but those words she does pop out are as clear as day. And not just a one word type of thing. No, no, she has progressed onto a three sentence structure. Perfect to go with her age. She is in fact a normal little girl by all accounts. I think sometimes we tend to forget that when we look at A and how he speaks pretty much on par with a five year old or sometimes even 6 year old. My son, while on holiday, befriended a boy twice his age and could hold a proper conversation with him. I sat back and watched the interaction and you would swear my kid was the same age as the other little boy. That’s A. That’s how he is and that’s how he will always be.

My twins are only three years old and they are definitely not the same. But I love them both equally. Just as much as they equally piss me off sometimes.

They are not identical so essentially they are like two totally polar opposites who happen to share a birthday. That’s it. Nothing more.

We were at one point getting a bit concerned that N was still babbling about by the age of 2 and half. But somewhere in between two and a half and turning 3 she has been spouting out words left right and center. It makes my heart smile and she seems happier now that she can actually get through to us better. Granted when she gets excited her talking comes at a pitch that could call dogs. But I love it. Except when I have a headache. But I really do love it.

As they both progress I am fascinated by their ability to soak up information. And words. We are now so careful to speak certain things in front of A as chances are he will mention something that isn’t kosher in front of other people at the wrong moment. Seems mom and dad conversations will be done in private, or whispering. Depends. That goes for swearing too by the way.

I am excited to see what happens as time goes on and they eventually get to school going age. My little N is average (for now, because I tell you what, she is super clever at puzzles. Almost weirdly so), and A is well, I don’t know, A. 🙂