This was the question posed to me by my 5 (soon to be six) year old daughter upon silently gate crashing my bedroom (again) and finding me in just a tracksuit pants and bra. I was about to put on the t shirt. I’ve got to learn to lock the damn door. Also, kids can be very quiet when necessary.
Obviously, to make me feel better after probably seeing the abject shock and horror on my face, she decided to clarify. By pointing. And saying “there, on your tummy, why do you have scribbles?”
Kids are so observant. Don’t for a second think you can fool them.
Like when you’re trying to sneak in a bite of chocolate you’ve been stashing for a while. You know when you went to the hiding place it was quiet and it would be no trouble. Just when you take that bite.. “Mommy, what you eating?”. How the hell do they know?? The quiet should have been my clue. Don’t trust anything if its too quiet.
And yes, I stash treats for myself. I know for dead certain I am not the only parent that does this. Ok? Ok.
Anyway, so back to the matter at hand; the “scribbles” on my tummy. I, firstly, put on my tshirt, then sat her down on the bed and explained while they were in mommy’s tummy, her and her brother grew. As they grew mommy’s tummy stretched. Sometimes when skin stretches and then tries to go back to normal it leaves the marks. “We call it stretch marks” I finished. I was rather proud of myself at the wonderful explanation and fantastic bit of parenting I had accomplished. I deserved a treat for that. She was quiet.
Still feeling the gloating feeling of success my daughter laughed and said “silly scribbles” and proceeded to call her brother to tell him the story. Again, I should have noticed the quiet before getting all “you just won the parent to child info lottery”.
Kids – in the lead
Mommy – trying to get out of the hole
A Little Less Fluff
Ok, so I have noticed that my ability to hold my anger or annoyance to certain things has gotten a lot shorter as the years go by. About 8 – 10 years ago, it would really take a lot to get under my skin. These days it sometimes just takes someone looking at me the wrong way for me to become instantly annoyed or aggressive.
• I become rather uptight when the kids don’t want to go to bed on time. Me knowing fully well that they will be exhausted at school the next day, which leads to crankiness and moaning and crying (sometimes by me) etc. I’m sure you get the point.
• I become insane when the boss at work does not want to approach the Executive Director regarding a matter that clearly only he at his level is able to approach the ED with.
• I spit acid when asked to do something purely because no one else wants to and has blatantly refused the boss’s instruction. Have some balls boss man!
• 24/7 “shiny happy people” annoy me. Coz Seriously? There is no way you can always be in a good mood. I want what you’re on buddy.
• Paying an exorbitant amount for a premium tv package (you know who I am referring to) and there is bloody nothing to watch on any of the 100+ channels!
• When you earn more money than me and you’re in the top job, do not expect me to do your job for you. You were hired in the post under the fact that you could actually do the job. Imagine that!
• When I say I am sick I mean it. The fact that I come to work to continue to provide a service to my clients does still not mean I will do your job for you. Also? I am grumpier than normal.
• When the till at the grocery store says 10 items or less, for the love of all that is good in the world, don’t come there with more than 10 items!!
• If you are a learner driver I can understand that you need practice out there in traffic in order to get the experience. But never ever think that driving in the “fast lane” is ok. Because that is when I lose my sh*t.
• Taxi’s. ‘Nuff said.
There are probably more things that would make my blood boil, but I will not regale you with that. It could go on forever.
Even through the darkness that is life’s annoyances however, there are most definitely things to be thankful for and things that make me happy and smile:
• Hugs and kisses and I love you’s from my family
• A nice cool afternoon
• Perfect silence
• A roof over our heads and food on the table
• Good friends
• A good book (although I haven’t read in ages, but you know what I mean)
• Making friends with people who live in other countries and yet it feels like we’ve known each other for years 🙂
*Thanks “your e cards” you couldnt have said it any better (as usual)
I’ve been missing. Yup, just kind of bundled away into the hustle and bustle that is everyday life.
I don’t like it. I feel lost.
Where have I been? No, not on a vacation (I friggen wish!), no not enjoying some peace and quiet time. Where have I been? Work, kids, work, kids and more work and more kids.
Somehow I have been sucked into that black hole of “don’t get time to do anything”. It sucks.
I have decided today to blog because I cannot and will not let myself be sucked any further down that black hole. I will take a few minutes (even if it is a couple of minutes, it is better than the nothing I had before. Baby steps people) to do something for me. I will not tolerate the fact that I don’t get to even have time to go to the bathroom properly anymore. It is up to here and no further.
The tantamount exhaustion I am experiencing is likely to cause me to fall over in a corner unnoticed. I rather think no one would notice I was missing. Anyways that’s beside the point I’m trying to make here.
Work is becoming an almost unbearable load as we nearing the end of the year and we are just not enough staff to cope. And with certain staff members just staying out of work with shit excuses it adds to the pressure of trying to get things done before we close for the holidays. Granted I am not as experienced as the rest, it makes my job that much harder. I am trying to cram in knowledge that has taken the rest at least 2 or so years to learn in a two month period since I now am filling in for maternity leave girl.
The kids will be three come the 17th and they are still their usual rambunctious (because I can’t think of one word to describe “are-killing-me-slowly”) selves. They are truly growing up fast and I hope I make it to see them grow into responsible adults. 😉
As for now? I am taking it one step at a time…
I’m sitting on a deck with the sun setting before me.
My chair is as comfy as can be.
The cool breeze dances around me and tickles my skin.
I overlook the lake and watch the sun slowly desend into its night time slumber.
I close my eyes and listen.
The faint calls of the birds calling to one another make me smile.
I hear the crickets already chirping away to gather for their night time party.
I hear nothing else.
Utter peace and quiet.
I take a deep breath and savour the moment like it is of the juiciest fruit imaginable.
This is where I shall stay. This is where I want to be. This I shall make my mental happy place.
This shall be my haven when life seems to be interfering with my sanity a little too much.
Yes, I like it here…
I get up this morning for work and I just am so tired. Granted I have been tired for the last two years and 8 months, but that’s beside the point. I. Am. Tired.
When I lay my head down to sleep at night I am out like a light. Unless I am having one of those days where the voices inside my head won’t let me go to sleep. They babble about all sorts of things. “Did you remember this” “Did you do that” “Why won’t you do this” “I don’t think you need to do this” “Those kids are going to be the death of you” “Why don’t you just run away, nobody will notice” “It’s ok, you will just have to stay fat forever, you cow”. You know, the usual. I end up having a restless night because of this. Or I grind my teeth. Much to A1’s
annoyance concern. It is sometimes so loud I actually wake him.
Yes folks I will have no teeth by 35! The joys!
Then of course there are my completely F**ked up dreams. I mean to the point that they sometimes scare the crap out of me. It’s not like wake up sweating in the middle of the night type stuff, because sometimes I am so deep into sleep that I “see” the whole dream through. And that is more terrifying than anything else. I will not go into it here because frankly I do not want to remember what they are about and I have mentally blocked them.
What I wouldn’t give for uninterrupted sleep without alarms going off and to just wake up whenever it is I wake up. No dreams, no grinding of teeth, no noise. Just utter peace.
I’m dumbfounded and it defies explanation.
Here is what the twins were like on Monday Night
And then this is what they were like last night!
I have no idea why but my kids were the best behaved angels last night and I actually was more relaxed last night than I have been in ages!
I’m not going to question further. I just hope it continues or reoccurs!!
Everyone needs a hug sometimes. 🙂