Go Home School, You’re Drunk…

I think my kids’ school is trying to make me look stupid. Or mind fuck me. One of the two. Because either I am completely inept in reading notices etc that they send or they forget what it is they put in their damn notices to begin with. I’m not one to complain (I lie, I complain a lot (have you read this blog?), about a lot of things, but I digress…) but surely if they put something in one of the letters they send home regarding clothing or an event etc, this is, by rights what is supposed to happen right? RIGHT??

Let me paint the picture for you:  the kids started school this week again after a week school holiday. At the end of term they receive a calendar and notice regarding the new term etc. Sport start up being one of them…
Last night, it being a Tuesday, (at bed time, because clearly any other time from when I come home from work is just not appropriate) my Son says to me “Mommy, we must wear sports uniform tomorrow, since we have sport”. I smile, thinking ‘Oh dear, he has again mixed up his weeks’. I duly respond “no hun, sport only starts next week remember?” He then protests “No no! We have to. Teacher (I will not use her name) says we must wear since we are doing sport tomorrow!” He always has sport on a Wednesday. I was about to say…’your sister did not have sport today’ (since her sport day is on a Tuesday) when piping up from her room my Daughter says “We did sport today! It wasn’t fun in my school uniform!”
Calmly (or as calm as I could be inbetween deep breaths) I indicated that fine, he would wear it the next day. Anything to get them to go to sleep at this stage.  I said goodnight and that was that. 

No. It. Was. Not.
Leave it to two nearly 7 year old’s to make you think you are losing your shit. I duly then went to look at the damn calendar. And there, in bold no less, it states “Sports Resumes” from Monday 19 October. I breathed a sigh of relief. Because firstly I wasn’t going completely bat shit crazy (again) and second the School was clearly having a senior moment. 

What really gets me though is the fact that this is not the first time I have engaged with my kids (to the point of them nearly being in tears) as to what they are told in class to tell us versus what is on a notice sent from said school. And if plans had changed then surely another notice or a note in their homework books would have sufficed? The kids are in Grade 1 for heaven’s sake! The potential for info lines to get crossed can happen! (I won’t get into the whole sending one of them to school in civvies (plain clothes) when it clearly wasn’t the day to do so). I mean it’s just logic. 

Long story short I duly sent my Son to school this morning is Sport uniform. 
BUT WAIT, there is more.
He then proceeded to have a near meltdown because I wanted to put his school tracksuit over said shorts and school tshirt (since it was cold this morning). “We can’t do that! I don’t want to get into trouble!” This ranting continued until I had to go and fetch that damn notice indicating that it may be worn in the event that it is cold. I showed him the notice and made HIM read it. He reads so well (insert proud mommy moment here)  
He then, and only then, agreed to wear it. By the time I got to work this morning I was dead. 

Anyone else have similar instances with their kid’s school? Would love to hear.

WTF 2015?!

Before you continue reading, please note, this post contains swear words (more than normal?). Because sometimes it just seems the most appropriate way to express something. And I swear, so you’re just going to have to deal. Ok? Ok. ;)

2015, I could throat punch you. Seriously though, what the hell? You were supposed to be a year of growth and bigger and better things? You have not lived up to what I expected. I do suppose it takes two to tango and its partially my fault. But, I would like to say, if I may, I ginormous Fuck You too. And that’s me being nice. 

Ok, so its October. 
Ok, so I let 9 months pass by without so much as a blog post. 
Ok, so maybe it didn’t bother me that much?
I thought about it. Honest.  But really? I just felt that I had nothing monumental to say? Or would it matter whether I said anything at all?
And as a matter of interest, how the fuck did it get to October anyway? Where on earth did all the other months fly too? It has been somewhat of a blur I have to admit. Or maybe my brain has just decided to have an extraordinary case of the “fuckits” from the bliss of having come out of my “dark fog” as I now refer to it. 

You see, I figured I was doing ok. I figured I could wean myself off the meds when I was ready (as instructed by my specialist) because I was doing ok. I misinterpreted this extraordinary case of the “fuckits”.  As of my last checkup at the end of September, it seems I might have been a tad hasty. I was being surrounded by that “dark fog” again. And I realized that I might have been a bit too hasty in getting myself off. I didn’t give it enough time. I didn’t give myself enough time. I wanted to be whole so quickly that I didn’t take the time to focus properly on doing that. I am now back on my medication and taking it one day at a time. And I will take as long as I need to get this done properly. No short cuts this time around.

June school holidays kicked my ass. My daughter stayed in hospital for over 6 days with an infection. Six whole days ladies and gentlemen!  I damn near lost my shit. But thankfully it turned out ok in the end. Before I had a complete fucking mental break. She is fine and bubbly as ever.

I started being a bit more social again (its how I have always been, and somehow over 10 years of kids and marriage I had lost it). I rediscovered good old friends and am glad to have them still with me after all this time. I had lost touch and they were kind enough to not give up on me. Good friends indeed. 

Besides the ups and downs so far this year, I’m looking ahead. Trying to be positive. Trying. Because at the moment that is all I am capable of doing.  I am not making any promises I can’t keep, not taking on more than I can handle. Just trying. And trying is better than nothing.

Its 2015…

And herewith is a breakdown of my 2014.

1) I discovered I was not just crazy
A monumental change in my life occurred in early 2014. I was diagnosed with a depressive disorder along with other minor issues. I was given validation that I wasnt just crazy and that thoughts and feelings and eventual body stress related illness was not just in my head. After being in denial so long (because me? depressed? NEEEVER), it was finally out there, and now I am on the road to recovery and a better outlook on life in general. I realised I have a husband and two kids. The dark cloud I was living under had finally given way to the light. It felt great to see clearly again.
Yes, some days are still hard, but I am managing better than I would have had I not been on medication. Its a slow progress, but one which is noticeable.

2) I got out of the hell hole
I think you all know that one of the catalysts which led to my eventual seeking of help was my job. In May 2014 I was successful in getting and starting another job in a new place. I am loving it. I now get to be closer to my kids and home and get to take them to school each morning. Its fantastic.

3) My kids are growing up
In 2014 my twins started Kindergarten (or Grade R as we call it here). In a matter of a month I noticed a complete change in them. My daughter started talking more (a lot more!) and my son also opened up a little more. They are growing so fast. Grade R was a huge success. In 2015 they move to Grade 1 (and yes, I shall cry once I see them in that uniform for the first time! Im not even ashamed to admit it). They will be in separate classes this year. I don’t mind. Its time they started to function individually as well. Its going to be an interesting year.

4) I almost didn’t become an aunt
My niece had a rough start to her life in 2014. At birth both her lungs collapsed (that’s a whole other story which I wont get into, but know that sometimes doctors are arseholes). Thank God for her pediatrician (who incidentally is also the twins pediatrician). He saved her life. You would never say that she went through that trauma 6 months on. I adore her. (I also claim she is my third child! lol)

5) I realised how fragile life really is
I will never forget the look in my cousin’s eyes at the loss of his son. Never.

6) I discovered vaping
And as a result I am cigarette free for 6 months already. Yay, me! I find I rather enjoy vaping. Such an awesome community of people too. Big thumbs up there.

7) Kids can get sick quickly
I have mentioned before about how germs picked up at school will still cause me to go completely insane and become mom to plastic bubble children. My daughter (as strangely the same in 2013), landed up in hospital for 4 days with a bacterial infection. It was a long four days. My child was sick. The sickest I’ve seen yet. Its heartbreaking. Its upsetting.
I’m trying not to be an over controlling germaphobe.

8) My house
I have been on a mission. I want to paint, and do shelving and declutter! Its slow, but it is actually going better than I thought it would. Granted, I started in the later part of 2014 with this mission, but I am carrying on with this into the New Year. I am trying to chronical some of that on my other blog. We’ll see how that goes.

2014 proved to be a challenging and yet successful year. It went quicker than I thought it would. I dont make resolutions for the New Year because I believe that if you want to do something you can start at any time you want to. The key is just to start. I wish you all a very prosperous New Year and may your dreams come true.
You can do it!!

My little gymnasts

At the beginning of the year, one of the extra activities the kids could partake in was Monkeynastics. Awesome little venture where kids learn hand and eye coordination, balance and more. I was a little hesitant at first, but today’s showcase proved how well my babies could cope.

They balanced and climbed and jumped to (almost) perfection. So proud of them. I was most hesitant with A in the beginning since he is rather skinny. Sometimes I forget skinny doesn’t necessarily mean fragile. He did really well.

They received little medals and still had time to pose with the Monkeynastics mascots. It didn’t freak them out either. ;)


A and N pretty pretty proud of themselves

Don’t ask me what those looks are. A is going with a “blue steel” and N has her “know it all” look going for her.

They grow up so fast…..

Time flying by, but Im not all that lost…

I somehow have no idea how it got to November already. The year of 2014 is coming to an end and all my brain can think of is: “didn’t we just go into January 2014?”. Luckily for me, its not alot of “fog brain” compared to last year.
This is not going to be a “summing up of the year” kind of post. That comes way later. But I really just wanted to highlight that it really has flown by.

And along with it being November comes the most important month of the year. Well, to the twins at least. They will be turning 6 this month. Obviously the chatter in the house has been what they want for their birthday. Non stop. We’ve taken note of the occasional ramblings. ;)
And yes, I said 6. That’s a whole hand and one finger old. That is closer to 10. As you can tell, to grasp the concept is a little hard for me. It is again like the year, time has just flown by. My “little babies” are going to Grade 1 next year and that is just great. I will deal with that “mommy emotional issues” when I get there ;) (I first gotta make it through the Christmas season in one piece)

I have also recently had some kind of epiphany to “re-do” the house. You know, paint, scrape and more paint, rearrange, de-clutter and the possibility of building on a new playroom/work room for the kids. Yes, I know, it seems daunting. But I am determined to make this happen. One way or another. There is so much to do, but each task will be taken one step at a time. Currently we are busy repainting the outside of the house.

I will be chronicling those trials and tribulations on my latest blog: A Little More Fluff I named it this purely because it is not based on the goings on of family and work etc. Its more décor, diy, vaping etc based. Its up and running currently so please pop on by and have a look. I also have another blog focused more on beauty, fashion, nails etc. etc. I Blog Beauty n Stuff has been up for a while. So if you haven’t gone round, it would be great if you could let me know your thoughts. And obviously I shall still be blogging on here, so don’t think this blog is going anywhere!

As always, thanks for stopping by lovelies

The Supposed Birthday Post…

This was meant to happen on Friday. But clearly, I didn’t get to it.
Ok, so yes, another year older and a year…wait, wiser wouldn’t be the word. Healthier? That I am less likely to kill someone? Whereby I feel more in control of my life than I have in the last two? Where stress is not THE major catalyst that will end me(its still there, its just not the thing that’s going to prematurely bring about my demise)? I don’t know.

On Friday 29 August I became another year older. I should imagine this would be, as most birthdays should be, time to party. You know what? It didn’t phase me. I could have cared less that I was indeed another year older. Thankful for another year on earth, but that was about it. Usually, I am rather upbeat about my birthday. Usually. This year was kind of like just any other day. Normal. Absolutely normal. I just didn’t “feel” it.
I had so much love from friends’ wishes that it was wonderful and heartwarming and again I was thankful. But, I just didn’t “feel” it. You know?

Is that what happens when you grow up? (I never really wanted to do that growing up part). Or is it that a birthday (mine) just does not hold any weight with me anymore. Would that be considered weird? When I reread that part, it really did make me sound like I fell off the crazy bus. Granted, I have been on the bus more than what was considered normal, but this time, I was nowhere near. I just wasn’t into it. And it was just a pretty normal day.
Its just that I had life to do. You know, working, being mom, life. Whether that sounds like an excuse is not relevant. ;)

To all those who took the time to send a message or to call me, you’re awesome. You’re all absolutely awesome. Xoxoxo

Here is a question:
Have your own birthdays become less relevant to you as you got older? Yes or no, I would love to hear your answer. Let me know in the comments below. :)

Mommy? Why do you have scribbles?…

This was the question posed to me by my 5 (soon to be six) year old daughter upon silently gate crashing my bedroom (again) and finding me in just a tracksuit pants and bra. I was about to put on the t shirt. I’ve got to learn to lock the damn door. Also, kids can be very quiet when necessary.


Obviously, to make me feel better after probably seeing the abject shock and horror on my face, she decided to clarify. By pointing. And saying “there, on your tummy, why do you have scribbles?”

Kids are so observant. Don’t for a second think you can fool them.

Like when you’re trying to sneak in a bite of chocolate you’ve been stashing for a while. You know when you went to the hiding place it was quiet and it would be no trouble. Just when you take that bite.. “Mommy, what you eating?”. How the hell do they know?? The quiet should have been my clue. Don’t trust anything if its too quiet.
And yes, I stash treats for myself. I know for dead certain I am not the only parent that does this. Ok? Ok.

Anyway, so back to the matter at hand; the “scribbles” on my tummy. I, firstly, put on my tshirt, then sat her down on the bed and explained while they were in mommy’s tummy, her and her brother grew. As they grew mommy’s tummy stretched. Sometimes when skin stretches and then tries to go back to normal it leaves the marks. “We call it stretch marks” I finished. I was rather proud of myself at the wonderful explanation and fantastic bit of parenting I had accomplished. I deserved a treat for that. She was quiet.
Still feeling the gloating feeling of success my daughter laughed and said “silly scribbles” and proceeded to call her brother to tell him the story. Again, I should have noticed the quiet before getting all “you just won the parent to child info lottery”.

Kids – in the lead
Mommy – trying to get out of the hole

A Little Less Fluff