Five things this week…

​1) Nothing. Absolutely Nada. 

Its been a long, mentally exhausting, work week. I’ve learned nothing except anger and frustration leads to not so nice consequences on your health. Which, of course, I already knew. 

How has your week been? You make it through unscathed? 

A Little Less Fluff

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New Lease On Life…

I know the title sounds rather dramatic, but I swear that is the way it feels.
So much has happened since my last post that I am sure if I had to put it all down the post will go on for a long time. I will try and sum it up to the best of my ability.

I have always figured that something was not just right for years now already. But you know how life is, you kind of just cope and carry on. I realise now with the stressors I have had over the last years the signs were always there. Always. I have just somehow managed to cope all along. That is until my body decided to raise the alarm for me.
After months of speculating as to what my rapid weight loss could be about, including tension headaches and all kinds of other situations, I finally went for tests. Full on tests. I had avoided this forever.
It confirmed what I thought all along. Chemical imbalance leading to depressive disorder. Years. Years of denying the fact had got me to this point. Years. Besides a possible future thyroid issue, the main catalyst was the imbalance.
I now am on meds for a 6 month period after which I shall be evaluated again. I do feel it has made some difference. I see more clearly now. More clearly than I have in years. My head does not feel as cluttered. But I shall continue to monitor my own signs of improvement or none.

On the endometriosis front, well, its kind of a situation where there is little to no ovary function. Pre mature ovarian failure (I’m seriously not that old), I think those were the words used. I dont think this has affected me as much since I have my twin lovelies. Had I not though, it would have broken me. Making above situation 100 times worse. But am attempting some oestrogen treatment and we see how that goes.
On a side note: The comments recently by TV “doctor” Dr Drew has raised a storm amongst the endo community for calling the disease a “garbage bag diagnosis”. The shit storm surrounding Dr Drew has still not died down. Which is right by me. Endo is such a silent disease that there are millions of women suffering with this. Every awareness that has been raised about this disease has basically taken a knock by the “doctor’s” comments. Rest assured the shit storm is far from over.

One major change for the better is that I finally did find new employment. I actually start the 5th. I am super excited for the first time in a long time about work. This is the direction I am wanting to go and so many career opportunities that I can barely contain myself.
Those of you who have read my blog regularly will know the issues I have had surrounding the “hell hole”. Well folks, I am finally rid of that place. FINALLY. It is actually a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It came at the right time (mainly due to situation above) in that I feel it will speed up the process of not having to be on meds of the kind I am taking now.

I think that is about as short as I can keep it without mouthing off for pages and pages. I would at least like to have you visit again. 😉

Have any of you had an experience where denial has led to something drastic health wise? Let me know in the comments. Would love to discuss.

Until next time….

2014…

So a New Year is upon us all and I am sure everybody is back in the swing of things. Work, kids back at school or perhaps first day of school and the usual chaos that ensues.
Before going back to work while on my vacation (all be it a short one)I tried to reflect on what 2013 has been like and lessons that I have learned throughout. The below are some of the major ones:

Kids will always be some kind of enigma. They are evolving constantly and as a parent, I have found at times that it is sometimes difficult to keep up. It could also be of course that I am a working mom, but nonetheless I find myself sometimes baffled by what comes out of their mouths. I am the first to admit that, yes, I at times do underestimate them in terms of their independence and perhaps I need to lay off the “molly coddling” as it were.
Lesson? Try and go with the flow (a little).

Kids are giant germ carriers. Really. Despite my best efforts, trips to the hospital emergency room were unavoidable in 2013. Also at God forsaken hours. *sigh* Lesson? Try to be less of a germaphobe and understand that kids will get sick. However personally, I draw the line when your kid is in hospital for 3 days. I had to restrain myself after that to not go into full sterile mode and put them both in plastic bubbles forever. *sigh* So, the internal battle continues.

The harder you work, the more people will take advantage of you. The lesson is that you can work hard and provide an excellent service, and just say no when necessary and valid. You are no one’s door mat and will not let the stress kill you. Mantra for 2014? “I will not stress over shit that is not within my control”. Yes, it’s a mantra, I don’t do resolutions. Whether or not this mantra stays throughout 2014 is debatable, but I shall give it a shot in order to avoid the stress and anxiety. Also, will look for another job.

Some health issues have popped up in 2013, but seems to be manageable. I hope. I have for a long time lived with endometriosis. Managed just fine with the help of my wonderful doctor. Things have progressed to a level which is different right now and that requires certain other treatment. But yes, manageable for now. Which I am happy about. Lesson? Don’t panic.

I recently took a look at my blog and found it to be somewhat on the side of just mom stuff and kid stuff and work stuff and… well anyway, you get the point. So look for big changes in 2014! New and interesting things are afoot. Granted it might take a while, but I am glad to still have you all around to experience it with.

xxx

Fresh Look…

Ok, so yes, I have been MIA for (gasp!) 3 months!
I am fully aware that this absence is just not on. Just. Not. On.
I thank those readers who have not just left me by the wayside like some blog orphan. I appreciate it so much.
So bare with me while I try and invigorate this blog that I simply cannot (and WILL NOT) leave.

Certain Facts

So work, as is the case, is slowly sapping my will to live.
To indicate to you how it has affected my health would make me sound like I needed a full on therapy session. So no, I wont bore you with the ins and outs of my mental and physical health. Just know, for all points and purposes, that I work in a hell hole. Ok? Ok!

The kids are growing so fast it is ridiculous. Go to my “about me” page and see the twin’s latest photo. Cannot believe how time has passed. I will do an full on pic blog post from the time when they were tiny tots, to now. If I can just manage to relax enough to do so. Wow.
N has lost her first tooth already and A is keen on loosing his. I had to sit him down and explain how it is NOT a good idea to just go yanking out teeth left, right and centre. Kids hear tooth fairy and their brains are: KA-CHING!!! *sigh* So basically it is this right now in my house…

KA-CHING!!

KA-CHING!!

New Look

Right, so as you will notice there is a new look to this blog site. I decided that change is as good as a holiday, and since I cant get a damn holiday I might as well refresh the look of my blog. Makes total sense.
I know in the past it has focussed a lot on the kids and gradually moving on to working mommy rants and such. But I feel it could be so much more.
So this, henceforth, will be a blog about anything and everything. A more well rounded blog, makes for a happy blog. Although this brings me to the question of what category of blog I will fall under. It used to either be “parenting” or “twin mommy” or “working mommmy”. Its now all three AND general. I might need your help on this one. Any suggestions??
Leave any ideas you have on anything in the comments. Would be great to hear what you think because right now…

Idea...

Idea…

So until then, laterz all….

Short Fuse…

Exactly

Exactly

Ok, so I have noticed that my ability to hold my anger or annoyance to certain things has gotten a lot shorter as the years go by. About 8 – 10 years ago, it would really take a lot to get under my skin. These days it sometimes just takes someone looking at me the wrong way for me to become instantly annoyed or aggressive.

• I become rather uptight when the kids don’t want to go to bed on time. Me knowing fully well that they will be exhausted at school the next day, which leads to crankiness and moaning and crying (sometimes by me) etc. I’m sure you get the point.
• I become insane when the boss at work does not want to approach the Executive Director regarding a matter that clearly only he at his level is able to approach the ED with.
• I spit acid when asked to do something purely because no one else wants to and has blatantly refused the boss’s instruction. Have some balls boss man!
• 24/7 “shiny happy people” annoy me. Coz Seriously? There is no way you can always be in a good mood. I want what you’re on buddy.
• Paying an exorbitant amount for a premium tv package (you know who I am referring to) and there is bloody nothing to watch on any of the 100+ channels!
• When you earn more money than me and you’re in the top job, do not expect me to do your job for you. You were hired in the post under the fact that you could actually do the job. Imagine that!
• When I say I am sick I mean it. The fact that I come to work to continue to provide a service to my clients does still not mean I will do your job for you. Also? I am grumpier than normal.
• When the till at the grocery store says 10 items or less, for the love of all that is good in the world, don’t come there with more than 10 items!!
• If you are a learner driver I can understand that you need practice out there in traffic in order to get the experience. But never ever think that driving in the “fast lane” is ok. Because that is when I lose my sh*t.
• Taxi’s. ‘Nuff said.

There are probably more things that would make my blood boil, but I will not regale you with that. It could go on forever.
Even through the darkness that is life’s annoyances however, there are most definitely things to be thankful for and things that make me happy and smile:

• Coffee
• Cigarettes
• Hugs and kisses and I love you’s from my family
• A nice cool afternoon
• Perfect silence
• A roof over our heads and food on the table
• Good friends
• Laughter
• A good book (although I haven’t read in ages, but you know what I mean)
• Making friends with people who live in other countries and yet it feels like we’ve known each other for years 🙂

*Thanks “your e cards” you couldnt have said it any better (as usual)

Fridays….

So once again we come to the end of the week. “insert a big hooray here”

I dont have any major plans for the weekend, besides a braai (bbq) on Saturday, but the way I go on about Fridays you think I had something lavish planned. The thing is Friday signals two whole days I dont have to be at work. Two whole days I dont have to come into the hell hole I am currently in. Two whole days of not having please every damn person who has an ego of self entitlement. Two whole days I can just chill (as much as what you can chill with 4 year old twins, but thats beside the point).

That is what gets me excited on a Friday. A Friday is my go slow day after a hectic (and its always hectic) week. Friday is my take it easy day. And damnit I reckon I deserve it after a whole week of putting up with other people’s crap.
So Fridays are pretty much like this:

hehe

hehe

Have a good weekend folks! 🙂

With The Best Of Intentions

You know, I actually had two posts that I wanted to post as part of my “I’m going to at least blog once a week” thing. Turns out, I didn’t finish either post. But even though it might not seem relevant down the line, I will get to posting it.

We sometimes do and say things with the best of intentions and yet sometimes it doesn’t work out. I hate it. I really do. As much as what I am guilty of it, I hate it. Its that spiraling out of control feeling that I hate too. Not my thing.

Currently I am as sick as a dog. Seriously, I’m sick. I somehow have caught the worst cold/flu that I have caught in years. And how am I dealing with it? A little bit of self medicating, not so much sleep with a dose of still going in to work on the side. Yeah, that is the perfect recipe for getting better. Strange how that “best of intentions” thing comes back to haunt you. You want to get the work done knowing if you don’t do it, no one will. And of course you’ll just end up in the crap again. And yet? You’re coughing so hard you end up puking. Yup folks, that’s exactly how it went down. At least I made it to the bathroom just in time.

This whole post pretty much sounds like one giant pity party, so I am going to add some great news right here: At least the kids aren’t sick! (This is where you knock on wood for me ok?)