OK, seriously…

​Parents, let’s get real here for a second. Let’s just get real and discuss the issue like the adults we are. Or supposed to be. 

Homework. 

What’s the deal hmm? Is it just me or are they piling the kids pretty strongly these days? I’m not saying I have just noticed it, I’ve actually been debating this for the last two years (mostly with myself and the Hubs). If I can recall (which is sometimes hard), we really didn’t have THIS much homework everyday when we were at school? Especially not at 8 years old! Besides that fact, it is also repetitive homework. What is the deal here? 

I actually recently saw a video comparing kids from Finland vs United States regarding homework. Interesting indeed. Did you know that Finland has the best education system in the world? I repeat, the world! I duly went and googled this to see exactly what the hype was about. I was not disappointed. I am most certainly not advocating that there should be a no homework system etc etc, but do yourself a favour and google “Finnish Education System”. Watch the vids on YouTube. And yes, I know I am comparing apples and pears here, but it is still damn interesting.

Like I said I am not advocating anything, it is just amazing the results Finland is getting with the changes they have made over the years regarding their education system. Percentages/rankings in Math and Science, for example, for Finnish students are one of the top in the world. Its amazing to see. Would that sort of system work here in South Africa? I honestly can’t say. There would be a tonne of work to do first. 

Aaannyyyways, in between classroom work and extra curricular activities, there is homework Mon – Fri. It is exhausting for kids who aren’t even a whole 2 digits old yet. I feel for them. My two are troopers through it all though. But I know there are those parents out there who struggle daily. And its not easy. What are your thoughts on this? Would love to hear.

Until next time

A Little Less Fluff

Advertisements

WTF 2015?!

Before you continue reading, please note, this post contains swear words (more than normal?). Because sometimes it just seems the most appropriate way to express something. And I swear, so you’re just going to have to deal. Ok? Ok. 😉

2015, I could throat punch you. Seriously though, what the hell? You were supposed to be a year of growth and bigger and better things? You have not lived up to what I expected. I do suppose it takes two to tango and its partially my fault. But, I would like to say, if I may, I ginormous Fuck You too. And that’s me being nice. 

Ok, so its October. 
Ok, so I let 9 months pass by without so much as a blog post. 
Ok, so maybe it didn’t bother me that much?
I thought about it. Honest.  But really? I just felt that I had nothing monumental to say? Or would it matter whether I said anything at all?
And as a matter of interest, how the fuck did it get to October anyway? Where on earth did all the other months fly too? It has been somewhat of a blur I have to admit. Or maybe my brain has just decided to have an extraordinary case of the “fuckits” from the bliss of having come out of my “dark fog” as I now refer to it. 

You see, I figured I was doing ok. I figured I could wean myself off the meds when I was ready (as instructed by my specialist) because I was doing ok. I misinterpreted this extraordinary case of the “fuckits”.  As of my last checkup at the end of September, it seems I might have been a tad hasty. I was being surrounded by that “dark fog” again. And I realized that I might have been a bit too hasty in getting myself off. I didn’t give it enough time. I didn’t give myself enough time. I wanted to be whole so quickly that I didn’t take the time to focus properly on doing that. I am now back on my medication and taking it one day at a time. And I will take as long as I need to get this done properly. No short cuts this time around.

June school holidays kicked my ass. My daughter stayed in hospital for over 6 days with an infection. Six whole days ladies and gentlemen!  I damn near lost my shit. But thankfully it turned out ok in the end. Before I had a complete fucking mental break. She is fine and bubbly as ever.

I started being a bit more social again (its how I have always been, and somehow over 10 years of kids and marriage I had lost it). I rediscovered good old friends and am glad to have them still with me after all this time. I had lost touch and they were kind enough to not give up on me. Good friends indeed. 

Besides the ups and downs so far this year, I’m looking ahead. Trying to be positive. Trying. Because at the moment that is all I am capable of doing.  I am not making any promises I can’t keep, not taking on more than I can handle. Just trying. And trying is better than nothing.

Its 2015…

And herewith is a breakdown of my 2014.

1) I discovered I was not just crazy
A monumental change in my life occurred in early 2014. I was diagnosed with a depressive disorder along with other minor issues. I was given validation that I wasnt just crazy and that thoughts and feelings and eventual body stress related illness was not just in my head. After being in denial so long (because me? depressed? NEEEVER), it was finally out there, and now I am on the road to recovery and a better outlook on life in general. I realised I have a husband and two kids. The dark cloud I was living under had finally given way to the light. It felt great to see clearly again.
Yes, some days are still hard, but I am managing better than I would have had I not been on medication. Its a slow progress, but one which is noticeable.

2) I got out of the hell hole
I think you all know that one of the catalysts which led to my eventual seeking of help was my job. In May 2014 I was successful in getting and starting another job in a new place. I am loving it. I now get to be closer to my kids and home and get to take them to school each morning. Its fantastic.

3) My kids are growing up
In 2014 my twins started Kindergarten (or Grade R as we call it here). In a matter of a month I noticed a complete change in them. My daughter started talking more (a lot more!) and my son also opened up a little more. They are growing so fast. Grade R was a huge success. In 2015 they move to Grade 1 (and yes, I shall cry once I see them in that uniform for the first time! Im not even ashamed to admit it). They will be in separate classes this year. I don’t mind. Its time they started to function individually as well. Its going to be an interesting year.

4) I almost didn’t become an aunt
My niece had a rough start to her life in 2014. At birth both her lungs collapsed (that’s a whole other story which I wont get into, but know that sometimes doctors are arseholes). Thank God for her pediatrician (who incidentally is also the twins pediatrician). He saved her life. You would never say that she went through that trauma 6 months on. I adore her. (I also claim she is my third child! lol)

5) I realised how fragile life really is
I will never forget the look in my cousin’s eyes at the loss of his son. Never.

6) I discovered vaping
And as a result I am cigarette free for 6 months already. Yay, me! I find I rather enjoy vaping. Such an awesome community of people too. Big thumbs up there.

7) Kids can get sick quickly
I have mentioned before about how germs picked up at school will still cause me to go completely insane and become mom to plastic bubble children. My daughter (as strangely the same in 2013), landed up in hospital for 4 days with a bacterial infection. It was a long four days. My child was sick. The sickest I’ve seen yet. Its heartbreaking. Its upsetting.
I’m trying not to be an over controlling germaphobe.

8) My house
I have been on a mission. I want to paint, and do shelving and declutter! Its slow, but it is actually going better than I thought it would. Granted, I started in the later part of 2014 with this mission, but I am carrying on with this into the New Year. I am trying to chronical some of that on my other blog. We’ll see how that goes.

2014 proved to be a challenging and yet successful year. It went quicker than I thought it would. I dont make resolutions for the New Year because I believe that if you want to do something you can start at any time you want to. The key is just to start. I wish you all a very prosperous New Year and may your dreams come true.
You can do it!!

My little gymnasts

At the beginning of the year, one of the extra activities the kids could partake in was Monkeynastics. Awesome little venture where kids learn hand and eye coordination, balance and more. I was a little hesitant at first, but today’s showcase proved how well my babies could cope.

They balanced and climbed and jumped to (almost) perfection. So proud of them. I was most hesitant with A in the beginning since he is rather skinny. Sometimes I forget skinny doesn’t necessarily mean fragile. He did really well.

They received little medals and still had time to pose with the Monkeynastics mascots. It didn’t freak them out either. 😉

image

A and N pretty pretty proud of themselves

Don’t ask me what those looks are. A is going with a “blue steel” and N has her “know it all” look going for her.

They grow up so fast…..

Mommy? Why do you have scribbles?…

This was the question posed to me by my 5 (soon to be six) year old daughter upon silently gate crashing my bedroom (again) and finding me in just a tracksuit pants and bra. I was about to put on the t shirt. I’ve got to learn to lock the damn door. Also, kids can be very quiet when necessary.

images

Obviously, to make me feel better after probably seeing the abject shock and horror on my face, she decided to clarify. By pointing. And saying “there, on your tummy, why do you have scribbles?”

Kids are so observant. Don’t for a second think you can fool them.

Like when you’re trying to sneak in a bite of chocolate you’ve been stashing for a while. You know when you went to the hiding place it was quiet and it would be no trouble. Just when you take that bite.. “Mommy, what you eating?”. How the hell do they know?? The quiet should have been my clue. Don’t trust anything if its too quiet.
And yes, I stash treats for myself. I know for dead certain I am not the only parent that does this. Ok? Ok.

Anyway, so back to the matter at hand; the “scribbles” on my tummy. I, firstly, put on my tshirt, then sat her down on the bed and explained while they were in mommy’s tummy, her and her brother grew. As they grew mommy’s tummy stretched. Sometimes when skin stretches and then tries to go back to normal it leaves the marks. “We call it stretch marks” I finished. I was rather proud of myself at the wonderful explanation and fantastic bit of parenting I had accomplished. I deserved a treat for that. She was quiet.
Still feeling the gloating feeling of success my daughter laughed and said “silly scribbles” and proceeded to call her brother to tell him the story. Again, I should have noticed the quiet before getting all “you just won the parent to child info lottery”.

Kids – in the lead
Mommy – trying to get out of the hole

Xoxo
A Little Less Fluff

Difference of opinion

About a week and a half ago N was at the doctor due to Tue fact that the day before she was crying in class because of an ear ache. She had been complaining of a sore ear on and off for the last two weeks. I would gently rub behind the ear and check pressure areas to determine if there might be an infection. Whenever I did this she wouldn’t flinch or scream in pain. It would then be over and all was well. The crying in class was when I decided that maybe she needed to see doc and that he would determine what the issue was. My child does not cry in class. She can be sulky at best, but doesn’t cry. So off to the doc she goes.

There was nothing wrong. As in nothing. No blockage ( nice and clear and healthy according to doc) and of course no sign of infection. I was happy. Then came the questions. Does she grind her teeth at night? Is she doing this for attention because her twin brother gets more attention?
I was floored. Really? REALLY?? You think I don’t give her enough attention and now she is coming up with fake ailments do get it? Really? No. The answer to those questions is no. I have been extra careful in that regard. It couldn’t be.

I resolved that evening to engage with her a little more. She seemed fine. Quite content that THE DOCTOR has said her ear was good. Hardly attention seeking right? Then again would she do that just to go to a doc?

Well I have secretly monitored her for a week or more and have not changed my normal interactions with both my children. She is 100% fine. Some happy, dynamic little girl I adore and love so much.

Which brings me to a thought: was it just an attention seeking tactic? Does she merely love going to a doc like a mini hypochondriac? Or was it genuinely aching at the time? I’m still on the fence here.
I would love some feedback from other moms with multiples or moms with children close in age. Has this ever happened to you? Or something similar perhaps?

I’d love to hear the opinions on this, so hit me up in the comments section.

xoxo

2014…

So a New Year is upon us all and I am sure everybody is back in the swing of things. Work, kids back at school or perhaps first day of school and the usual chaos that ensues.
Before going back to work while on my vacation (all be it a short one)I tried to reflect on what 2013 has been like and lessons that I have learned throughout. The below are some of the major ones:

Kids will always be some kind of enigma. They are evolving constantly and as a parent, I have found at times that it is sometimes difficult to keep up. It could also be of course that I am a working mom, but nonetheless I find myself sometimes baffled by what comes out of their mouths. I am the first to admit that, yes, I at times do underestimate them in terms of their independence and perhaps I need to lay off the “molly coddling” as it were.
Lesson? Try and go with the flow (a little).

Kids are giant germ carriers. Really. Despite my best efforts, trips to the hospital emergency room were unavoidable in 2013. Also at God forsaken hours. *sigh* Lesson? Try to be less of a germaphobe and understand that kids will get sick. However personally, I draw the line when your kid is in hospital for 3 days. I had to restrain myself after that to not go into full sterile mode and put them both in plastic bubbles forever. *sigh* So, the internal battle continues.

The harder you work, the more people will take advantage of you. The lesson is that you can work hard and provide an excellent service, and just say no when necessary and valid. You are no one’s door mat and will not let the stress kill you. Mantra for 2014? “I will not stress over shit that is not within my control”. Yes, it’s a mantra, I don’t do resolutions. Whether or not this mantra stays throughout 2014 is debatable, but I shall give it a shot in order to avoid the stress and anxiety. Also, will look for another job.

Some health issues have popped up in 2013, but seems to be manageable. I hope. I have for a long time lived with endometriosis. Managed just fine with the help of my wonderful doctor. Things have progressed to a level which is different right now and that requires certain other treatment. But yes, manageable for now. Which I am happy about. Lesson? Don’t panic.

I recently took a look at my blog and found it to be somewhat on the side of just mom stuff and kid stuff and work stuff and… well anyway, you get the point. So look for big changes in 2014! New and interesting things are afoot. Granted it might take a while, but I am glad to still have you all around to experience it with.

xxx