Its 2015…

And herewith is a breakdown of my 2014.

1) I discovered I was not just crazy
A monumental change in my life occurred in early 2014. I was diagnosed with a depressive disorder along with other minor issues. I was given validation that I wasnt just crazy and that thoughts and feelings and eventual body stress related illness was not just in my head. After being in denial so long (because me? depressed? NEEEVER), it was finally out there, and now I am on the road to recovery and a better outlook on life in general. I realised I have a husband and two kids. The dark cloud I was living under had finally given way to the light. It felt great to see clearly again.
Yes, some days are still hard, but I am managing better than I would have had I not been on medication. Its a slow progress, but one which is noticeable.

2) I got out of the hell hole
I think you all know that one of the catalysts which led to my eventual seeking of help was my job. In May 2014 I was successful in getting and starting another job in a new place. I am loving it. I now get to be closer to my kids and home and get to take them to school each morning. Its fantastic.

3) My kids are growing up
In 2014 my twins started Kindergarten (or Grade R as we call it here). In a matter of a month I noticed a complete change in them. My daughter started talking more (a lot more!) and my son also opened up a little more. They are growing so fast. Grade R was a huge success. In 2015 they move to Grade 1 (and yes, I shall cry once I see them in that uniform for the first time! Im not even ashamed to admit it). They will be in separate classes this year. I don’t mind. Its time they started to function individually as well. Its going to be an interesting year.

4) I almost didn’t become an aunt
My niece had a rough start to her life in 2014. At birth both her lungs collapsed (that’s a whole other story which I wont get into, but know that sometimes doctors are arseholes). Thank God for her pediatrician (who incidentally is also the twins pediatrician). He saved her life. You would never say that she went through that trauma 6 months on. I adore her. (I also claim she is my third child! lol)

5) I realised how fragile life really is
I will never forget the look in my cousin’s eyes at the loss of his son. Never.

6) I discovered vaping
And as a result I am cigarette free for 6 months already. Yay, me! I find I rather enjoy vaping. Such an awesome community of people too. Big thumbs up there.

7) Kids can get sick quickly
I have mentioned before about how germs picked up at school will still cause me to go completely insane and become mom to plastic bubble children. My daughter (as strangely the same in 2013), landed up in hospital for 4 days with a bacterial infection. It was a long four days. My child was sick. The sickest I’ve seen yet. Its heartbreaking. Its upsetting.
I’m trying not to be an over controlling germaphobe.

8) My house
I have been on a mission. I want to paint, and do shelving and declutter! Its slow, but it is actually going better than I thought it would. Granted, I started in the later part of 2014 with this mission, but I am carrying on with this into the New Year. I am trying to chronical some of that on my other blog. We’ll see how that goes.

2014 proved to be a challenging and yet successful year. It went quicker than I thought it would. I dont make resolutions for the New Year because I believe that if you want to do something you can start at any time you want to. The key is just to start. I wish you all a very prosperous New Year and may your dreams come true.
You can do it!!

Fresh Look…

Ok, so yes, I have been MIA for (gasp!) 3 months!
I am fully aware that this absence is just not on. Just. Not. On.
I thank those readers who have not just left me by the wayside like some blog orphan. I appreciate it so much.
So bare with me while I try and invigorate this blog that I simply cannot (and WILL NOT) leave.

Certain Facts

So work, as is the case, is slowly sapping my will to live.
To indicate to you how it has affected my health would make me sound like I needed a full on therapy session. So no, I wont bore you with the ins and outs of my mental and physical health. Just know, for all points and purposes, that I work in a hell hole. Ok? Ok!

The kids are growing so fast it is ridiculous. Go to my “about me” page and see the twin’s latest photo. Cannot believe how time has passed. I will do an full on pic blog post from the time when they were tiny tots, to now. If I can just manage to relax enough to do so. Wow.
N has lost her first tooth already and A is keen on loosing his. I had to sit him down and explain how it is NOT a good idea to just go yanking out teeth left, right and centre. Kids hear tooth fairy and their brains are: KA-CHING!!! *sigh* So basically it is this right now in my house…

KA-CHING!!

New Look

Right, so as you will notice there is a new look to this blog site. I decided that change is as good as a holiday, and since I cant get a damn holiday I might as well refresh the look of my blog. Makes total sense.
I know in the past it has focussed a lot on the kids and gradually moving on to working mommy rants and such. But I feel it could be so much more.
So this, henceforth, will be a blog about anything and everything. A more well rounded blog, makes for a happy blog. Although this brings me to the question of what category of blog I will fall under. It used to either be “parenting” or “twin mommy” or “working mommmy”. Its now all three AND general. I might need your help on this one. Any suggestions??
Leave any ideas you have on anything in the comments. Would be great to hear what you think because right now…

Idea…

So until then, laterz all….

I’ve Been PicMixing….

Yeah, since I cant do Instagram, I’ve been on PicMix.

Here’s just a couple of my, ummm, “works”. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Points To Ponder…

1. Contrary to popular belief, I actually am still in the realm of blogging. I think I might have just faded into the background as reality is a bitch.
2. The human body can apparently withstand mind numbing exhaustion up to a certain point. You know, that point when you dont make sense while speaking and you sound like you’ve been drugged.
3. Three year olds think they know everything.
4. No matter how you swing it, you cannot cure incompetence.
5. After 30 times of asking, it is always the one time you dont ask that a kid needs to pee.
6. There will always be that one thing on your grocery list that you will not find/get.
7. Just because you are in a certain high level position does not give you the right to be a complete dick.
8. With reference to point 7: Just because you obtained said position by doing fuckall still does not give you the right to be a complete dick.
9. Just when you think you couldn’t sweat any more in the summer heat…
10. Sleep is only sleep if there isn’t a foot in your rib or a hand slapping your face.

 

Not To Worry…I Think

I haven’t posted something in ages. It’s not like I have run out of things to say this time around. Actually I have plenty. I am just not 100 percent sure of how to format it so it makes sense. There are 101 thoughts in my head that needs to get organized and frankly my brain just does not comprehend at the moment. I am exhausted and I sometimes cannot stand on my own two feet.

Thoughts of every kind ranging from kids, to mom stuff, to work, food, music, books and just Oh My Word, where do I begin? Maybe it is just my own fault for just not putting these thoughts onto paper in order to get a decent post out onto my blog. Shame on me.

And even if I did end up starting a post, I leave it in drafts and then by the time I actually remember that I have something in drafts, it is just way to late since I don’t remember what it was I was talking about. Not even reading the unfinished post jogs my memory (of which I now realize has taken a brutal beating and sometimes I don’t remember doing things even as far back as 24hrs ago) as to what point I was trying to make at the time.

The point I am trying to make here, however, is that I have a lot to say and would love to have a post up every day, but as circumstances would have it I just cant. I feel sad because of this as I adore my little blog haven and I appreciate each and every reader that I do have. I can always say that I am going to make a concerted effort to do a post every day, but that would just be a lie. Work has totaled me and in the evenings the kids total me. Lame excuse, but it’s the God’s honest truth.

What I can say is that I will endeavor to post more. How much more? I honestly don’t know.

To you dear readers, please don’t give up on me. I am still here. 🙂

The Rundown

I’ve gotten lost recently.

Somewhere in between my last post and now, I got lost. I got swept away in the busyness that is life and then paid an ugly price for getting too overinvolved with life. After the whole TV debacle (in which we eventually kept the TV after looooong ass war between myself and the manager and with a 10% discount included. I know I caved, I’m pathetic, but I just didn’t have any fight left in me.) I just wasn’t feeling “right”. And by “right” I mean health wise. There was something wrong, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

In all of this I missed doing Fluff’s Top 5 on Friday. To anyone who does read it, I shall be continuing this Friday. Thanks.

Friday last week I got tied up doing interviews. Rather an important Director position so I was well chuffed. It went down smoothly so I was even more chuffed by the end of it. That made me smile.

Saturday was our wedding anniversary. Great day. We went “out” (and by “out” I mean we just went grocery shopping and the like) without the kids. Bliss. And then came the migraine. Holy Hell, I haven’t had one like that in a while. According to A1 I was speaking like someone on drugs. And yet I hadn’t taken any. Yet. Maybe the week that I wasn’t feeling myself was leading up to this? I do not know. But I tell you what, my brain was clouded and everything since Saturday is rather a blur. Today is Tuesday and I am only now starting to feel human again. I am taking it slow for fear of any aggravation or stress might bring it back. I don’t want it back. My brain still feels bruised.

Point is, I still don’t really feel myself. I feel…odd. Unfortunately that is really the only way to describe it. Odd. Like I am waiting for something. What that something is I have no bloody idea. I am starting to get annoyed.

So there you have it folks. The rundown of where, what and how. If this makes any sense to you, I do applaud you. I just read it and I think it might not be making any sense what-so-fecking-ever!

Hopefully I will be back on the straight and narrow soon. I gotta come back down to earth sometime.

Photo Blog…My Little Monsters :)

I think its about time you met my monsters. Enjoy!

A on his way home for the first time!

N on her way home for the first time!

They were so googly eyed!

A year old and they look like pumpkin children! 🙂

"I'm queen of the world!"

"I am soooo cool!"

Dont be fooled by the smile! 😉

She never stands still! Hence the photo turned out this way!

Well now you’ve met the terrible twosome who I adore with all my heart! 🙂

Time Away….Does Nothing

I have survived the Easter break and our little getaway for the long weekend. Barely. I had all expectations that it would go well. I mean how bad could it possibly be? I clearly forgot to bear in mind that “no rules grandparents” were coming on this trip with us. Torture to say the least.
We left on Good Friday. All packed and ready to go. Twin toddlers strapped in their car seats and the two of us geared for the 3 hour trip. It shouldn’t be that bad. Shouldn’t be, being the operative word. We packed ourselves, the kids, our bags etc. into the car and left for my folks’ house. My son took one look at his grandmother and had a full blown tantrum to want to ride in the car with them. This spurred my daughter into action. And you can only imagine. This all before we even left the driveway! We eventually got going after managing to placate the twins and we were off on our journey. It was relatively smooth sailing and N didn’t take long to fall asleep. Good thing too because it was their nap time anyways. However A took another hour to fall asleep. He had been asleep for 15 minutes when we made our first stop to take a break. A1 and I left the car with N awake and A still asleep soundly. My mother just needed to watch them while we made our way to the bathrooms. That was all.
We got back and the car was locked and kids were gone and so was my mother. I took one look at A1 and we instantly knew that the kids were running rampant somewhere. How A was awake when we left him sleeping soundly I will never know. Then trying to get him back into the car (another tantrum because he wanted to ride with his grandmother and she was like “nope, you need to ride with mom and dad”) was a mission. After much screaming and performing, we were on our way again.
We made it to our destination in one piece. Or rather my sanity did. I was already dreading the rest of the weekend. Dark clouds gathered in my head and I could feel the storm approaching.
As I expected the kids were totally unruly due to the grandparent’s presence. Trying to get them to listen and do anything was like trying to get blood from a rock. Defiance was the order of the day and I was all ready to give up. Why fight the inevitable? I let the grandparents handle them until my mother came through “exhausted” stating it’s my turn. My turn? I’ve been trying to do that the whole weekend!! Why is it called a holiday when the activities are pretty much like they are at home except worse with the grandparents around?
Getting home was a similar arduous experience. Its official, I hate travelling with the kids. Its mind numbingly exhausting and I really would choose not to do it. Maybe I would change my mind as long as my folks were not with. Yes, I think that would probably work out better. Come to think of it, where was my holiday? When did I actually get time to enjoy it? I didn’t. Its like being at home with the kids just in a totally different location. I’m of the opinion holidays wont be holidays for a long time yet.
Back to work and all is well. Kids are back to being their normal selves and there is some sense of control back in our household.

Full Of Surprises

So off to the paed we go. N seemed in a good mood. Which was good. While sitting in the waiting room N decides she wants to play with the beads on another mom’s bag. The lady just smiled and I was slightly mortified at my daughters’ ability to just not care whether the bag belong to her or not.

The paed then walked out and apolgised as he had to step out as there was an emergency. Another kid had been bitten by a snake. That was a scary thought. My mind began to drift at the thought that it couldve been my child and what those parents must be going through. Made mental note to always be on the lookout. Again I have to mention here that I probably do suffer (obviously a self diagnosis here) from paranoia.

N decides to then get brave and attempt to play with another little boy around the same age. And when I say play I mean try to take one of the toys he had around him with without him seeing. Will have to look into that thievery moments of hers!

Half an hour past our appointment time and paed returns. He doesn’t look relieved. We go in. My motherly concern (probably more curiosity) kicks in and I ask if the kid is ok. He just shakes his head. Before my mind can drift to the thoughts of a grieving mother or even prodding further he asks how can he help us. I do adore a paed who cares so much about kids and his patients. He seemed to well up a bit but gained control enough to carry on.

We then got to the point of us being there. After much discussion it turns out our little girl is normal and healthy. It also turns out that my son, after us explaining his speech pattern etc. has the vocab of a five year old. He is apparently way ahead for his age. Almost “rediculously” so according to paed. Wow! Didn’t see that coming. N has a normal vocab range for a two year old which is two word sentences. At three is should be three word sentences and so it goes.

He does not think it has anything to do with her hearing and in fact he thinks she is fine. Just to be hundred percent sure and to console ourselves (more like my folks) he did write a letter motivating she go for a hearing test. Its not urgent so we can go after our Easter getaway.

He also thinks that because A is so advanced for his age he is over powering her and will end up answering for her as they get older. He recommends they be separated every now and then so she can build a better confidence with her speaking. Granted, I agree with him that A can be demanding but how on earth do I separate the two. My mom says she can maybe take A for the day, maybe twice a week, and N can play all day with L. She loves playing with L she just never gets a full chance with Mr Demanding around.

So there you have it folks. Normal, healthy, above average kids. Hmmm, better day than I thought it would be.

Monster Theory

I am by all accounts still a monster. I am in a terrible mood! I’m irritated by everything around me.

I’m putting this down to the fact that I’m tired. Over tired in fact! That and probably, now that I think about it, the fact that I could’ve died about three times today!

First episode was this morning on the way to work a car tried to change lanes and clearly didn’t see me! Lots of hooting and heart pulpitations later, and I’m still alive.
Second episode, same thing just involving a truck! Tweeted pic of said truck. Moron.
Third episode, same story with another car. This was on the way home! Total and complete d*ck!

Am I f*#king invisible? How is it possible that you don’t see a car when trying to change lanes? Do you not, as protocol dictates, check your mirrors?? Dumbasses!!

So yes, I’m grumpy and tired! And when I wake up tomorrow I shall be grateful for my wonderful husband and children.